


To the Moon and Back

by pearliegrimm



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M, Slow Burn, THE DEVIL WORKS FAST BUT I WORK FASTER, canon???? dont know her, dreamworks doesnt own voltron anymore, my show now bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-06-13 23:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 33,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15375744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearliegrimm/pseuds/pearliegrimm
Summary: “What would I possibly say to him?‘Oh hey, Adam, it’s Takashi. Remember how I went on that mission you told me not to go on? Yeah well, I got kidnapped by aliens, lost my arm, captained a robot lion force to defend the universe, died, came back to life-but hey I’m back. Let’s continue where we left off!”Lance looks at him, sly. “You forgot one other thing.”Shiro truly feels he shouldn't indulge Lance anymore than he has to. But he can’t help it. “And what’s that?”“...You got a fuckin’ rad hairdo.”





	1. Europa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: This story began PRE-SEASON 7 therefore it diverges from canon after SEASON 6

Just as Keith had decreed. Voltron was ambling on a set course all the way back to Earth. Back home. The ten of them. Shiro, Lance, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, Allura, Coran, Romelle, Krolia (and Matt, of course) all sharing the collective five lions amongst them on the voyage home. The cockpits may have been crowded- but their spirits were exceptionally high. Especially after everything they had endured. Takashi couldn’t have been more proud of his team.

Takashi had never really wanted to think about Earth for the number of years he’d been in space. He knew it would make him irrevocably homesick. Even after he’d been rescued by Keith- a welcome slice of home, it never really felt right to dwell on the fact that he had left someone back there that thought for sure he was dead.  It was, after all, a very sticky subject to divulge. The situation was chock full of semantics and extra details, complicating the matter. So, when they’re finally setting coordinates to go back home, Shiro feels a little bit light headed. And he’s certain it’s not just because he’d had his fucking subconscious transported into another vessel.

Okay well, that probably didn’t  _ help.  _

The ten of them were on sleeping shifts amongst the cockpits. Allura, Krolia, Coran and Romelle were the first to volunteer. They, after all, didn’t share the same eccentricities for Earth. Krolia was the only one amongst the four to have actually been- Keith could tell it dredged up some painful memories for her.

“Ah, I can’t wait to get back home and eat my mom’s cooking again.” Lance grins, he’d been the most notably homesick of the paladins. It made sense really. Even in the academy Shiro had noticed how much he loved his family. From the photos plastering his dorm room to the lock screen of his phone. It was a pure depiction of everything he’d sacrificed to keep the universe safe. He was a good kid.

Inevitably, Hunk is the next to chime in. Always the cuisine enthusiast. “Gah, I can’t wait to work with Earth ingredients again. There really is no space substitute for oregano out there.” Takashi wonders quietly if Hunk weren’t in the space program- in voltron, perhaps he would have been a chef. If he could make space goo edible, he could make anything.

The sentiment makes the Holt siblings snicker. “Mom is going to kill the both of us when we get home.” Pidge interjects, “There’s only so much she can pay out on dad for.” 

Matt nods along, “Plus I didn’t make my bed before I left.” Shiro can’t help but agree with that. Colleen Holt was a wonderful person, but even he knew that when Samuel let both of his children stay in a space war instead of dragging their asses back home- he was in for some trouble.

The comment makes the rest of the team break out into some good-natured laughter despite the tension. The air was positively crackling with the anticipation to get back home after so long. It was almost impossible to bear the several days journey back now that they’d started reminiscing. 

Even Keith, residential emo cowboy seemed awfully homesick. He sighs into the controls of the lion. “I miss the desert sand.” He pauses closing his eyes, as if he were imagining the heat of it, “And lizards.”

“Lizards?” Lance smirks, his mirth evident in his voice.

“Fuck off, Lance, Lizards are cool.” Keith grumbles, tapping his fingers. He looks out into the darkness of space with a furrowed brow. Shiro watches him with a tilted head. There was something more that Keith had wanted to say. But ever the silent type, he’d gone the typical option. Keith had always been like that, it was just him. No matter how much Takashi had prodded- he’d never give away too much emotion all at once. He stored it up until it was past bursting point and turned it into rage usually, or dangerous impulsiveness.

Takashi is far too tired to chide him now. He hadn’t a clue what time it was, but it felt late. That was another thing Shiro couldn’t wait to see again, the sunset.  All the soft pinks and oranges melding together to make something beautiful. It was the smallest thing he constantly took for granted.

“What about you, Shiro?”

He almost doesn’t hear Lance say his name he’s that caught up in his own thoughts. He must have noticed Takashi’s silence. Perceptive kid.

_ What about him? _

“Hmm?” He says intelligibly. Shuffling forward on his seat.

“On Earth. What are you looking forward to most when you get there?”

Keith fixes him with a pointed look and a raised eyebrow from the pilot’s seat. Shiro sighs, he knew he probably shouldn’t have sat with him for the ride. Perhaps he should have tried to take a nap? Despite Keith’s cool indifferent attitude- he did get nosey if needed. And boy did he get nosey with Shiro’s romantic life. Or lack thereof. Technically.

Takashi lets out another puff of air. “I miss the academy cafeteria’s baked potatoes.”

Keith clicks his tongue, giving him a foreboding stare. Coming from the guy that had just said he’d missed lizards the most after several years in space. Ouch. (As if there weren’t any space lizards, Keith, God.)

Takashi supposes that, well, he had no reason to be dishonest. If he was considering what he’d missed most about Earth.

It would be more of a who than a what.

No matter how it may have ended. No matter how much Shiro may have regret his decision as he’d lay awake, staring at the galran prison ceiling, wishing he wasn’t alone. Trying to tell himself not to look to the other side of his cell cot and expect his warmth by his side. 

There was always one person at the back of his mind, kindling to the fire of Shiro’s need to go back home. Ever present in his mind, but too painful to bring to light.

“I miss Adam.” Takashi admits absentmindedly. At last allowing himself to say his name aloud. It felt freeing, really. Being able to acknowledge the fact that he, for all these years. Had missed his (ex?) almost fiancé more than life itself.

Lance obviously picks up on his tone of voice quite quickly, the longing sound and snaps it up like a cheerleader looking for new gossip. “Ooh, who’s Adam?”

“My boyfr- ex-boyfriend.” Shiro quietly corrects himself. He’d caused that himself. No amount of denying that would help. He couldn’t expect anything from him anymore.

“Boy…friend?” Lance voice heightens with confusion. Takashi can practically see the gears turning in the boy’s head. “Shiro, you’re gay?”

Takashi huffs out a laugh. “Thought you knew, Lance. I don’t try and hide it.”

Lance makes an affirmative noise, almost like he’s nodding to himself in his own lion. “Cool, cool, that’s super cool, like Shiro that’s cool- you’re cool- wow-“

“Stop rambling, Lance, your brain doesn’t have enough capacity to keep forming new words that quickly.” Keith snaps.

“Fuck off, Keith.”

Shiro just rolls his eyes at the two of them. “I just… want to tell him I’m sorry.”

Pidge, who had been silent for the most part interjects next. “Sorry for what?”

“For not listening to him when he told me not to go on the Kerberos mission.”

A silence hangs amongst all those on board the lions. It was true what they said. Space really did feel more quiet than anywhere on Earth. Looking into the dark abyss and seeing nothing, it was worse than being stranded on a desert island.

“Shiro…” Matt says quietly, there’s a fair amount of sadness attached to his tone of voice. Shiro can tell he’s trying to choose his words carefully. 

Takashi doesn’t want or need any of it. It turns his neutral expression into a frown. He couldn’t think of that now. All the lost time. The lost opportunities. He had to think of home. Home! With Earth food and Earth animals- and comfortable beds and- “But let’s not get into that!” The loudness of his voice makes Keith jump a little bit in his seat. “Let’s keep our spirits up for when we get back home.”

“But that’s days away…” Hunk whines, his voice already losing its original fervour. He’s already slumped in the pilot’s chair, head cradled in his arms on the dashboard.

“Hey! I know a fun game to play!” Lance interjects, the enthusiasm in his voice being suspicious at best.

Pidge buys into it, “What game?”

Lance takes a deep breath before he starts singing in a very low baritone, “Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall-“  

There’s a simultaneous uproar from all the paladins.  _ “NOOOOOO” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have known adam for 20 hours now and if anything happens to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself
> 
> edit: HOLY SHIT THAT JOKE AGED BADLY ALKDHAKLDH
> 
>  
> 
> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


	2. Ganymede

When Adam was younger, he’d always dreamed of leaving Earth. It had become this psychological need of his to know _all_ there is- and to master it. To become fully aware of the world around him.

As he grew older though, he realised that as he looked up at the sky, his mind didn’t wander to the potential good of the great wide universe anymore- it focused on the detrimental idea of there actually being something out there. Something foreboding and formidable.

Something with better technology, insurmountable strength- and an insatiable bloodlust. It was terrifying.  

It didn’t stop him from wanting to go- it just changed his motives. It was no longer the ambitious curiosity that drove him- but the overwhelming need to determine the possible destruction of humanity. _He needed to know._

Even now, as he lie awake in an all too empty bed for the umpteenth time this week, he can’t help but look out into the dark sky of midnight and wonder just what occurred that day four years ago.

Adam knew many things, he was certain of everything. He looked facts in the face and took them as just that. But there was no way that pilot error was the cause of the Kerberos mission's downfall.

He just didn’t know how to prove it.

Because all the proof was out _there._

He’d tried so hard to not think about it. To not care- to huff and say ‘I told him so’ but it just wasn’t Adam. He’d take being wrong a million times just to see Takashi again.

It was probably the one time in his life that he’d loathed being right.  

Adam sighs, shifting to the other side of his room. Purposefully turning away from the window filled with unforgiving stars and closes his eyes.

 

He awakes from a dreamless sleep the next morning. It was very much welcome- the lack of dreams. It turned off his mind, something that he’d found growing more and more impossible with every problem that arose within the academy. Every discovery that crumbled into insignificance. Every idea that was shot down...

The sheer darkness of nothing was the best possible outcome for the effects of sleep. Adam even preferred nightmares to dreams at this point.

At least with nightmares, he wanted to wake up from them.  

  


“I spy with my little eye… something that is… black!”

Looking at Keith now, Shiro can tell he’s about to lose his shit. He’s got that twitch in his eyebrow that always used to appear when he got scolded by the flight instructors.  

“I don’t know, Lance… could it possibly be the fucking ENDLESS ABYSS OF SPACE?”

“Nope!”

Keith isn’t having any of it, “Really?”

“...Yes.” Lance admits, sheepishly disappointed. He splays out his top half onto the cockpit dashboard, looking forlorn. “Urgh, this is so boring, there is nothing for my little eye to spy!”

“You’re gonna spy my foot up your ass if you don’t shut up.” Keith continues.

“Is that a promise?”

“You’re gross.”

It had been a long couple of days amongst the cosmos, and Shiro could tell that their little team had been feeling the effects. Keith and Lance especially, who hadn’t had the time to shamelessly flirt with each other for a good year or so. The excitement of the beginning of their voyage had easily worn off and it was now replaced with sheer boredom.

Takashi was supposed to be asleep at this point, being his turn on the rotation to get some rest. But he couldn’t seem to close his eyes. Perhaps it made him cowardly- this fear. But every time he saw the back of his eyelids it overwhelmed him with reprehensible emotions of claustrophobia. He’d much rather stare into the mocking stars of space.

So, instead of sleep, he calmed himself by listening to Keith and Lance. Who were the only people talking amongst themselves currently. He didn’t have the heart to tell them that if they hated talking to each other so much- they could just stop. They already knew that after all. This was all a matter of cat and mouse to them. This banter- the dumb jokes. It was all a part of their routine.

Shiro remembered something similar he had had with Adam. Except instead of threatening ones foot up one’s ass, it was more academia related. Like who could get the highest score in the simulator- or who could get the best test mark.

They were fucking nerds, basically.

The thought makes a small smile appear on Takashi’s face. So much so that he begins to drown out the needless back-and-forth that Keith and Lance had going on for a matter of moments.

When he comes to- they’re still at it.

“I can’t stop thinking about all the memes i missed on Earth…”

“Lance, seriously?”

“I’m not taking that tone of voice from someone that doesn’t even know what a meme is.”

“I know what a meme is!”

“You called them may-mays!”

“That’s how it should be pronounced.”

Lance sounds positively disgusted. “You’re so invalid, I can’t believe you.”

Okay, maybe they weren’t like Adam and him exactly. But, still, it was nice to listen to something lighthearted and stupid for a while- no matter how confusing to him.

Especially on this voyage back home. It was grounding him, tethering him back to a ground that had more than just artificial gravity. He’d missed it while they were busy saving the universe.

He wondered what had changed while they were away.

He wondered what was salvageable.

Takashi looks out into a sea of black and only sees the honey brown of Adam’s eyes. He knows he’s hallucinating, but at this point- if he can’t dream while he sleeps- he at least wants this while he’s awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith; hey lance, explain this may-may to me  
> lance; no also die


	3. Callisto

As the group of paladins (and friends) approached gradually closer toward Earth, Keith couldn’t help but sense the antsy vibes coming off their leader.

Shiro, despite his everlasting cool headedness, was worried- and Keith could tell.

And he couldn’t really blame him.

When Shiro left on the Kerberos mission- it wasn’t as if everything had instantly fallen to pieces. It was like a gradual crack in their residual screen that grew greater with every growing day he wasn’t on Earth. Keith frowns, looking at Shiro now. He remembered being so furious with him for leaving on a mission despite what doctors had advised him- the crazy bastard seemed to have a self-righteous death wish.

A sigh escapes his lips, Keith supposes that really was the pot calling the kettle a sacrificial maniac.

Yeah, the pair of them didn’t share very many similarities- but that ran in both of their bloods like DNA. The need to protect the people closest to them- despite the undeniable dangers. It was a natural instinct- for Keith at least he was sure. His parents- both of them- they were the same.

But Shiro? Shiro hadn’t mentioned his parents at all.

He had just kind of figured Shiro was an orphan, just like Keith. It would make sense- it would explain the day that Shiro had started looking after him, brought him to his and Adam’s compartment by the garrison. It would align a lot of puzzle pieces in Keith’s mind.

Keith huffs out a hint of a laugh. Talk about death wish.

 

_“Hey, Adam, I’m back.” Shiro calls, his voice echoing amongst the apartment. Kicking off his boots before he entered the small living area. An old habit he’d kept from his time in Japan._

_“Oh Good, I wanted to see if you wanted to watch a movie- I know anything romantic makes you weepy, but there’s this one I’ve been wanting to see-” Adam finally enters his eyesight, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, a cup of cooling tea in his hand. He goes silent when he sees Keith, standing sullenly next to Shiro. Small and vengeful- with little scuffs on both sides of his cheeks._

_Adam slowly narrows his eyes, the glint of his glasses obscuring half of his glare. He raises his eyebrow, prompting Shiro to explain._

_“So heyyy-” Takashi begins uncomfortably. “You know how we both agreed that we were in the prime of our careers and shouldn’t think about adopting any kids for at least a couple more years?”_

_Adam takes a sip of his tea. “Yes. Quite clearly.”_

_“Well-”_

_“Takashi Shirogane.”_

_Shiro gulps. Keith recalls being so confused about that action- he hadn’t a clue why Shiro was so afraid of a man that was at least the same height as him- and nowhere near as muscular._

_Then Keith saw the sharp look in Adam’s eyes and he understood._

_Adam puts his hands on his hips and stares at the small boy in his living room, he doesn’t look down at Keith like the other adults had- their expressions usually an amalgamation of pity and scorn. No, Instead, his expression softens just the slightest bit. There’s still a frown on his face but Keith can see the warmth in his brown eyes- flooding through like chocolate fondue. He meets Keith’s eyes but Keith looks away petulantly, arms crossed._

_Adam then fixes a much less warm expression on Takashi. “You didn’t think about consulting me?”_

_Shiro runs a hand through his hair, he looks to Keith for a moment then back at Adam._

_Adam fixes his glasses and sighs, “What’s your name, kid?”_

_Keith kicks the imaginary dust on his shoes, looking down at the ground. He didn’t even really know what he was doing here. He wanted to go home- except he didn’t have a home to run off to. “Keith.” He mumbles, bunching up his fists._

_“You like cookies?”_

_Keith shakes his head no but his eyes glimmer with anything but. He was hungry- and he hadn’t eaten anything sweet in ages._

_Adam nods his head to the other room, “there’s some in the kitchen. Have some in there and we’ll come in soon.”_

_Keith runs off, knowing his social cue to get out of there. The tension could be cut with a knife in the area and he couldn’t be happier to get out of there._

_Shiro, assuming this was a positive affirmation, straightens up with mild cheer._

_“Don’t think this is a yes, Takashi. I just didn’t want the kid to see someone get murdered at such an early age.”_

_Shiro deflates, the frown returning back to his face. He tries to search for words in his brain to convey his feelings. “I just…” He fumbles. “He reminded me of myself.”_

_Adam’s expression softens to only a slight furrow in his brow. He looks at a small photo on their wall- the two of them, arms around each other and smiling in front of the garrison building when they were about fifteen. “I definitely don’t recall you having a mullet.”_

_He lets out a huff, leaning on the door frame. “Adam, I’m sorry, I should have talked it through with you I just- I couldn’t leave him by himself.” He stops closer into the house, closer to Adam. “I want to give him a chance. Just like I'd been given.”_

_Adam, his arms folded, lets out an arduous sigh. He looks at his boyfriend’s sad, sparkling dark eyes and his earnest expression- it’s too much for him to take. Those dumb puppy dog eyes would probably be the death of him._

_Adam rolls his eyes, “He can sleep in the spare room.” He watches the relief flood Shiro’s face and knows he’s made the right decision. “But you should make him aware that I will definitely be picking the movies for AT LEAST_ _the next two months.”_ _  
__The dread is right back there within seconds._

 

Keith’s eyes glimmer with amusement looking back on the memory. Adam really did have a shitty taste in movies.

He could still recall the movie nights they’d had. Keith would come back from a shitty training day at the garrison and then be subjected to watching fucking twilight or something while Shiro got emotional about it on the couch. Adam would watch, enthralled, mouthing the words in time on the screen, his head on Takashi’s shoulder and a giant bowl of popcorn in his hands. Then Shiro would fall asleep and Adam and Keith would take turns trying to throw popcorn in his mouth without him waking up.

Adam and Shiro were the closest thing Keith had had to a family for a very long time.

It wasn’t even the matter of Shiro leaving. It wasn’t just Keith losing him. It was Keith losing everything that surrounded their dynamic. The dinners, the banter, the laughs. It all left with Shiro. It wasn’t as if Adam had kicked him out- he’d never been cold to him. No matter how much he scowled or adjusted his glasses- the guy was just as soft as Takashi. But Keith could just tell that when Shiro left- all Adam could see in Keith was the man who chose his job over him. He could see teenage Shiro, full of destructive ambition and no outlet. He couldn’t see just Keith anymore.

The sadness in his eyes was too much to handle. He couldn’t do it. Neither of them could.

So like a coward, he left. After Shiro was reported missing, he got himself kicked out of the garrison. He went back to where he first felt home.

It didn’t feel like that anymore- but what else was he to do?

He could remember the last conversation he’d had with Adam. It stuck in his mind every time Shiro got that far off look in his eyes.

 

_“I wish you’d stay, Keith.” Adam admitted, truly- this time he was the one averting his eyes. Since Takashi had been reported M.I.A., it was like all the colour had been drained out of him. The home they’d all shared had been reduced to a startling monochrome._

_“No you don’t.” Keith scorns- he regrets being so angry back then. So bitter at the world. Adam hadn’t deserved it. Especially then._

_Adam stops what he was doing to look at him then. “You can’t be resentful toward the stars, Keith. It’s pointless.” Keith could tell he was trying to keep his composure, after everything. He and Shiro had always been known for their collective level headedness._

_“It’s bullshit, Adam- what do they even mean pilot failure? Shiro was the best pilot in the entire garrison. Something must have taken them, those bastards-”_

_“You don’t think I don’t know that?” Adam snaps, Keith looks up at him to find his brown eyes looking a lot more watery than they ever had before. Shiro was the crier, not him.  It was jarring to see.“I was there when they lost the ship’s coordinates- I was there, watching as it just disappeared off the map! I was there when the rest of them just shrugged their shoulders and said ‘well, that’s a shame’ as if they’d lost a game of cards instead of Three. Fucking. Human. Beings.” Adam hits his fist on the kitchen counter._

_“Adam…”_

_He quickly composes himself, adjusting his uniform collar. “Blame the morbid curiosity of humanity. Blame the people like me. I should have stopped him. I should have been enough.”_

_Keith looks at Adam. Thinking about the years they’d shared collectively with Shiro. A strange family unit that was equal bits weird as it was amazing. And he knows he has to go. Because if Adam was there, Keith would look at him and see Shiro as well._

_“Shiro’s alive, Adam, he has to be.” Is all he says, turning his back- toward the door he’d first entered as a petulant little kid, full of nerves and hatred._

_“If you really meant that, then why are you crying too?”_

 

Shiro stirs in his restless sleep, his expression twitching with discomfort. It had been the first time he’d managed to pass out since they’d started their journey back to Earth. Naturally, it had resulted in a barrage of nightmares. No surprise to Shiro.

His movements slowly grow more and more frequent until he gasps awake. Finally able to break through the shell of consciousness.

Neither he nor Keith acknowledge it.

Once he regains his bearings, he clears his throat- and tries to keep his voice even. He adjusted his posture and places a hand over Keith’s pilot seat. “How much longer until we reach Earth?”

Keith keeps his eyes out into space, afraid of Shiro’s expression. “Should be another twenty-four hours, give or take.”

“A day?”

Keith nods.

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay disaster takashi shirogane realising he can't fly to space to avoid his problems again: (꒪ȏ꒪;)


	4. Enceladus

“Shiro, you gotta calm down, it won’t be that bad.” Keith scowls, Shiro is pacing the black lion’s cockpit, over and over again. The place is cramped as it is, but with Takashi’s incessant movement- it makes it even more claustrophobic. Keith can see him in his peripheral vision and it’s annoying the living shit out of him.

“Yeah, life finds a way, amirite?” Lance provides from red.

Keith squints. “Is that from Jurassic Park?”

“It’s the most romantic movie I’ve seen.”

“Guys. _Please.”_ Shiro groans, he’d stopped moving back and forth and is now just standing behind Keith with his head in his hands. “You don’t understand. He’s going to kill me.”

“Adam won’t kill you.” Keith provided, “Maybe lightly maim, but not kill.”

Shiro gestures with his one arm to where the other one used to be. “Might make me match.”

“Another step to being robocop.” Lance adds helpfully, finger gunning.

Keith and Shiro both collectively sigh. Shiro takes a seat on by the wall, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He wonders if Adam really thinks he’s dead. When Voltron were sending messages back to his family-

He’d been dead.

Spirits can’t write letters.

And his clone certainly wasn’t doing him any favours in that department. Well, any department actually. That son of a bitch had cut his hair WAY too short.  

Takashi can’t help but think that he probably wouldn’t have written to Adam anyway. He would have been too cowardly to do it. He thought that it would be better, perhaps, for Adam to think that he was dead anyway. He could live his life and find love again. Move on without anything stopping him. Even now, Shiro’s not so sure. There was a part of him, deep down that thought he may not live through this space war. So why bother him with false hope?

“What would I possibly say to him? ‘ _Oh hey, Adam, it’s Takashi. Remember how I went on that mission you told me not to go on? Yeah well, I got kidnapped by aliens, lost my arm, captained a robot lion force to defend the universe, died, came back to life- but hey I’m back. Let’s continue where we left off!”_

Lance looks at him, sly. “You forgot one other thing.”

Shiro truly feels he shouldn't indulge Lance anymore than he has to. But he can’t help it. “And what’s that?”

“...You got a fuckin’ rad hairdo.”

  


Despite Lance’s outstanding assistance in helping Shiro out with his love life, it pisses Keith off so much that he decided to just sleep it off. Leaving just Shiro and Lance to their own devices.

“You should probably rest up, Shiro.” Lance says softly, “I’ll keep watch.”

Takashi waves it off. “You’re awake as much as I am, Lance. You should go first.”

Lance sighs, not at Shiro- he can tell. It’s more of a frustrated noise at himself. Takashi wonders if he’ll come out with whatever’s been bothering him or if he’ll bottle it up like Keith.

Lance has always been more open. Well, about most things.

There always seemed to be a chip on his shoulder lately.

“...I can’t.”

Shiro isn’t surprised, but he is curious. “Why?”

“You aren’t the only one who got brought back to life.” Lance confides, his expression turning to a shaking frown. “That type of thing is kinda daunting. Everytime I try and fall asleep now, makes me wonder if- when I close my eyes- will I ever wake up?”

Takashi’s chest feels heavy with empathy. He knew the exact feeling. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Lance.”

“Not your fault.” He replies, looking deep into the abyss of space. “I’ll get over it.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not at all.”

The answer makes Shiro huff. “Me too.”

Lance was elastic, he continually bounced back. Takashi was certain that he was strong enough to pull through. Even if he had to drag the words out of him by force eventually.

“What I do want to talk about is you and Adam.” Lance grins, singsong. His sad expression replaced. He hadn’t a clue how the kid did it. He tried so hard to make others happy, to divert others from his own emotions- it had to be exhausting.  

“Why are you so focused on this?”

Lance sputters, “I-I don’t know I just uh, I just never knew that you had a boyfriend back home. Never thought you were-”

Shiro is used to the assumption. “Gay?”

“...Like me.” Lance grits out. A silence follows the pair of them, mostly just shocked quiet on Shiro’s side. It must catch Lance off guard because he begins to ramble. He fiddles with his paladin gloves, looking down at his hands. “Well not exactly like me, I mean, I dig chicks too but like, guys are just as good and well- I kind of thought I was the only one-” He tries to run a hand through his hair only to be stopped by his helmet. “I didn’t really have anyone to look up to for all these years. But he was right under my nose.” He laughs nervously.

“Lance.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for telling me. I know how hard that is. I’m proud of you.”

The sentiment must be too much for Lance because Shiro can hear him sniffling softly for a little while after. “Thanks, Shiro.” Lance says, the strain on his voice indicating what Shiro had already assumed. He was crying. Shiro wished he was over there then, he could give the kid a hug- a pat on the back- something. Instead he’d have to settle on words to comfort him, which would be interesting- because Takashi was awkward with emotions at the best of times.

“Did I ever tell you about the disaster that was Adam and I’s first date?’

Lance sniffs again, “N-no.”

 

Adam took another sip of coffee and cringed at the taste. He hated coffee. But his boss hated him passing out at work- so guess who won that battle?

“I didn’t take you as a coffee person, Adam.” A voice from behind him says. Adam turns and sees Caleb, leaning on the wall beside him. He’s got a dumb expression on his face that looks far too close to being smug. Unfortunately, his face suited it. Then again, he was handsome so Adam supposed his face suited everything. He takes a sip of his own mug without grimacing.

“Wow, amazing.” Adam says, unimpressed, continuing to choke down shitty coffee.

“It’s actually chocolate milk, I hate that shit.” He gestures to the pot, cooling on the counter.

Adam lets out a weak laugh, “I’m about as much of a coffee person as you are an adult, Caleb.”

He clutches his heart, “you wound me.”

The guy was kind of cheesy but entirely harmless. He was fun.

“I’m sure you’ll survive.”

Caleb laughs, moving closer to pick a piece of crumb on Adam’s cheek off his face.

“We on again for tonight?”

Adam knew he had to build a bridge and get over this massive weight in his heart. So what better way than to force himself into it? Probably not mentally healthy but regardless... Shiro was gone and nothing was going to bring him back. Adam was young. He wanted another chance at happiness. Even if it felt like red hot betrayal on his insides.   

The back of Adam’s neck is nagging at him- telling him to hold off. He doesn’t take any note. He turns his overworked brain off for the moment and the tranquil silence permeates his senses. If he kept waiting for a dead man he’d be still waiting in the afterlife.

 

“Sure. I’ll come by at eight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shut up lance the most romantic movie u've ever seen was mamma mia and u fuckin loved it


	5. Lapetus

Adam hadn’t expected to have a good time but well, he did. It gave him time to not think- and Adam not thinking was probably the least dangerous option. God knows he was smart, but his ability to painfully overthink everything was never healthy. Even he knew that. 

They’d gone to some nice restaurant that was like, a full hour away from the Garrison and Caleb had  _ insisted _ on paying. Which was an old and dated tradition that didn’t even apply since they were both men but Adam wouldn’t refuse free dinner, despite his pride. He’d bought drinks afterwards, after all. Some nice wine that they’d taken back to Caleb’s apartment...

 

Okay, they’d slept together. 

And that wasn’t a big deal. Because Adam was an adult and he should be entirely used to this kind of thing. He shouldn’t be freaking the fuck out over something as dumb as this. But now he’d turned back on his brain and everything had come flooding back into his head. He and Caleb had been regularly going out for a decent amount of time- but he hadn’t actually  _ done  _ anything with him yet. This felt like a step Adam wasn’t overly willing to cross. What even were they? Adam hadn’t expected to actually have sex with him last night. He’d just kind of wanted to have dinner. It happened so suddenly. It was entirely the opposite to his relationship with Shiro. That had been agonisingly slow. They hadn’t even  _ kissed  _ until the third date. Albeit, they were about sixteen. But still. It was strange. Adam wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about this- about his and Caleb’s actions the night previous. God, Adam was such an idiot. He bangs his head on his desk, cursing under his breath. 

“Woah, rough night? Didn’t get any sleep?” 

Oh. Caleb. Great. The man Adam did  _ not _ want to see right now. He could already see his dumb smirk from behind his head.  

“Ha ha. You know exactly how much sleep I got.” Adam doesn’t lift his face from the desk, making his voice muffled and strange. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Never stopped me before.”   
“How did you even get appointed here?” 

“It’s amazing what you can get done with talent and a shit tonne of ass kissing.” 

Adam lifts his head, sighing as he returned to his screen, ignoring Caleb and looking over the latest diagnostics that had been sent over from the satellite up near the asteroid belt separating Mars and Jupiter.  

He stares at them.

He stares at them again.

He stares at them harder. 

“Weird.” He squints, “A meteor maybe?” It was too far away to really confirm anything just yet. The satellite's camera was blurry at best. He switches screens and begins typing rapidly, going through the numbers on his screen with a professional fervour. 

 

“We’re nearly passing Mars,” Keith announces, looking at the red planet almost nostalgically. “We should be able to message Earth.” He continues, only to look at Shiro, gesturing to the small device. “You should be the one to do it.”

 

“Interference with the comms, sir!” A man behind Adam had called out. Causing his blood to turn to ice water. That wasn’t good. Definitely not good. Especially with these scans, furthering the abnormality. It had been literal radio silence in the sky since the night those garrison students had gone missing with Keith. Something showing up all of a sudden like this sent warning bells off in Adam’s head.

All of a sudden the large screen in the middle of the room goes black- causing the dozens of workers to react in varying layers of shock. It’s white noise for a moment, like an old television- before a man’s face slowly comes into vision. 

Adam stares at the man, despite the feed having yet to clear he could tell he was human- or at the very least human-like. He had stark white hair and an abrasion across his nose, he sat in what looked to be some kind of pilot’s chair in a cockpit. 

The screen finally clears up enough for the audio to begin working. Everyone in the room can hear the soft sound of thrusters powering in the background of the video feed. It’s a moment before the man speaks. 

Adam blinks, his heart rising to his throat. 

“This is Takashi Shirogane. Pilot of the Kerberos mission. Accompanied by Technician of the Kerberos mission, Matt Holt alongside Garrison trainees; Lance Mcclain, Katie Holt, Keith Kogane and Hunk Garrett. Requesting permission to land.” 

A round of gasps surround the centre, it sends a tremor amongst the room. 

Adam rushes to stand. Was that actually Takashi? It couldn’t be.   
He looked so different, he couldn't truly tell. It was breaking his heart. He had...changed, despite his physical appearance being completely altered- it was his eyes that rattled him the most. They looked so pained, so dark- lacking the ambitious and fiery light it used to hold. 

Was it  _ really _ him?

Another voice on the other side of the cockpit is heard. 

Keith?   
Was that Keith?

‘Shiro’ looks over at the voice on the side of the cockpit, incredulous. “What do you mean you’re not a garrison trainee?” He exclaims. The voice on the side speaks further. Adam would recognise that expression anywhere- it was Shiro’s classic, _ ‘I’m not mad I’m just disappointed’  _ face. “You got kicked out of the garrison  _ when _ ?”  

Adam slumps back down, his eyes wide with shock.

That was definitely Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adam; permission granted, cut off communications  
> shiro; no u hang up first ;)  
> adam; no u hang up first ;)  
> shiro; no u hang up fir
> 
> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


	6. Kerberos

Adam is still staring at the screen long after it goes dark. His pupils fixated on the spot where Shiro’s face had once been. 

What was he to do now?

“Hey, you okay?” he hears a voice from behind him. Forgetting entirely that he wasn’t alone in this room. The moment he heard Shiro it was as if everything else had disappeared, the only thing left being the lump in Adam’s throat and the rapid beating of his heart. It brought back hundred of memories of their final happy days together before it all went to hell. Before Adam knew that Takashi would rather risk his life once more than spend his final time alive with the person he loved. 

Adam loved him. Emphasis on the past tense. He had loved Takashi with every fibre of his being when they were together. Separating like that- so quickly after years of being together tore the two of them apart from the inside. Adam supposed that, if Shiro returned from Kerberos, unharmed and apologetic- perhaps he’d take him back. Perhaps he was weaker than he said he was.

He didn’t get that chance because, like Adam had known all along- Takashi Shirogane had died in space. Or at the very least, he’d been swept away into the cosmos- never to return to Earth again. 

This news had thrown Adam through a loop. He’d spent years knowing for certain that he’d never see Shiro again. 

But now.

He was back. Damaged, but he was back. With stark white hair, a scar, one arm and a conglomerate of darkness behind those silver eyes of his. It changed everything. Despite the fact that they were separated- it wasn’t something as easy as severing a ribbon. The red string of fate was the hardest material to tear through and Adam wasn’t even sure if he held the scissors anymore.

“Adam?”

Adam knew that he couldn’t accept Takashi’s death. People had chalked it up to some kind of fucked up grief mechanism- but Adam knew. And now that he was right- it couldn’t feel anymore wrong. 

“Adam!” 

He finally turns to face the voice behind him, the incessant noise finally nagging at his brain enough to give in. 

He’s face to face with Caleb, a hand on his shoulder. Looking concerned. 

“Did you know that guy personally or something?” He asks, his eyebrows drawing in confusion. 

Ah, of course, Caleb was a newcomer- a transfer from the base up East. He hadn’t the slightest clue about the details of Shiro and Adam’s relationship prior to his disappearance.

And of course, Adam had never told him. 

“You could say that.” Adam whispers, his voice feeling like it wasn’t his own. 

Iverson is stomping up to him now. He can hear the heels of his boots marching closer and closer to his person and he can already tell what he’s going to say.

“You were right, lieutenant.” Iverson says gruffly, “we should have listened to you.” It obviously took a lot for him to admit that. But Adam just wasn’t in the mood for it. 

Adam doesn’t look up at him. “Yeah, you should have.” 

The other man looks uncomfortable and Caleb just looks confused. 

“We thought that you were… too emotionally charged to be correct.”

Adam rises from his position, adjusting his glasses. He stares at his superior officer with a expression so tired that he really doesn’t know how he can fathom to stand up at all. “Guess you owe Cadet Kogane an apology as well.” Adam says simply, he moves to his desk, fixing up the papers and stacking them in a neat pile. “I’m leaving for the day. Tell the sergeant that if that’s a problem she can come see me personally.”

He picks up his tablet and leaves without another word to anyone. None of them had the audacity to stop him.

 

Shiro had said that the team of lions were to arrive in the later hours of the night- giving Adam even more time to agonise over the burning fact that everything in his life was coming crashing down at the current moment.

Did Adam want to be there when they arrived?

Did he even have clearance to be there?

Did Shiro even want him there?

Adam sighs, wandering into his bedroom, the very one he’d shared with Takashi all those years ago. Sitting upon the neat folds of the duvet, he opens the bottom draw that once belonged to Shiro. He isn’t sure if the man intended to leave it when he set off for Kerberos, but as Adam was cleaning things out, he’d come across a few possessions Shiro had left.

He twirls the velvet box in his hands, eyeing it with a wary kind of pain that was long enduring and hard to forget. The first time Adam had come across it was a few days after they’d announced the Kerberos’ mission failure. 

He hadn’t cried when he saw the engagement ring, nestled amongst Takashi’s meagre possessions back then, and he wouldn’t now. 

He wouldn’t. 

That just wasn’t him. 

Insead Adam just looks out into the blazing blue sky of the day, knowing full well now what was out there, but still feeling that it was as foreboding as ever. 

“You… were together. With Shirogane.” Caleb must have let himself in at some point. With a dull sense of realisation Adam notices he’d left the door unlocked out of pure forgetfulness. 

Adam looks up at him. 

“We broke up a few days before the Kerberos mission.” He confides, still twirling the box in his hands. 

“Oh.”

“What are you doing here, Caleb?” 

The man at the door frowns, leaning his long limbs on Adam’s door frame. Looking perplexed at the question. “I was worried.” 

“Don’t be. I’m fine.” 

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not in the slightest.” 

Caleb sighs in relief, “thank God, I got nothing.”

The sentiment makes a smile tug onto Adam’s lips. It’s sad and small but there nevertheless. He appreciated him trying, at the very least. Trying to make him feel better in this fucked up situation he’d found himself in. 

The one thing he didn’t notice was the lingering gaze Caleb held onto Adam’s hands- on the ring box, plain and simple in his grasps. Adam didn’t notice the strange jealousy in the other’s eyes before it’s wiped away within a moment. 

“Come on, let’s watch a movie or something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *putting on sunglasses* season 7? don't know that bitch.


	7. Titan

Seeing the familiar blue of the Earth was far more nostalgic than any of the Paladins could ever configure. It seemed that nothing in the universe held the same kind of cerulean tone as their home world’s waters from afar. The first time Shiro had crashed back into Earth, he hadn’t really had time to take it all in. He was too busy doing everything but taking the scenic route.

“It’s so beautiful.” Pidge says with nothing but wonder in her voice- no sarcasm or calculating tone. Pure happiness. 

“I never thought I’d see it again.” Krolia looks upon the planet with a frown. She didn’t have quite the same warmth for Earth- especially since she’d heard about Keith’s father’s death.

Lance doesn’t say anything but the little sniffle heard amongst the lions audio comms is reply enough- he too, was thankful to see Earth again. Probably more so than anyone else.

As they divulge further into the atmosphere, the collective excitement grows stronger and stronger. The sights of the soft dark greens in a large field near a lake sparkling in the moonlight is almost too good to be true. 

“I can see the garrison!” Hunk exclaims, most likely pointing in the direction of the familiar building- despite the fact that no one would be able to see him anyway. 

“Don’t expect a warm welcome. Remember how you all kind of kidnapped me and flew into space against their orders?” Shiro speaks, only a slightly frown on his face. He tilts his head, “then again we kind of saved the universe a few times. I think that makes up for it more than enough.”

Keith smirks, “probably.”

“We need to practice our badass entrance, guys.” Lance is speaking so quickly that it’s kind of hard to comprehend. 

“You and I both know that as soon as we hit ground you’re going to be clutching the dirt and crying.” Keith replies, looking utterly exasperated. 

“Yeah but I could blast some cool music while I do it.” Lance admits, Shiro can see the cogs in his mind move around as he goes through his mental playlist, “tell me, Shiro. Are you a ‘call me maybe’ kind of gay, or are you a ‘tainted love’ kind of gay?”  

Keith, on his right, sighs really loudly, looking like he wanted nothing more than to bang his head on the lion’s controls. 

“Neither of them.” Shiro says, rolling his eyes as he hears Lance whine in disappointment. He decides to bite, feeling kind of bad. “I’m more of a Britney Spears, ‘Toxic’ kind of gay.”

Lance makes a noise of approval. “Fucking superb you funky little paladin.” 

“I knew it,” Keith mutters leaning on his controls, looking even more dead inside than before.

 

Lance realised he couldn’t blast any music when they were landing because he’d left his AUX cord back on Earth. 

Everyone was SUPER disappointed. (They weren’t.) 

 

Adam is pacing around his apartment over and over again. So much so that he’s probably dulling the polish on his floor. Caleb just kind of watches him from the couch with his eyebrows furrowed. Adam hadn’t said a word since he’d gotten off the phone with Iverson. 

“Did the commander give you clearance to be there when they land?” Caleb asks, eyeing the other man warily. 

Adam stops in his tracks for a moment, forgetting entirely that Caleb was even there at all. “Yes,” he says slowly, looking down at the floor. 

“Then why are you still pacing around like that?”

“Because I’m debating on whether or not to go.” Adam says simply, still not meeting Caleb’s eyes. 

“Don’t force yourself if you don’t want to go.” 

_ “But I do want to.” _

“You don’t sound like you do.” Caleb mumbles, propping his head up with his arm. It was late into the night and he could feel his eyes growing heavy with drowsiness. And yes, perhaps he was a little bit bitter about the fact that they could be spending quality time together- but instead Adam lay waste in his living room- agonising over another man. It certainly didn’t help. “Besides, he kind of abandoned you when he left... Why do you even want to see a guy like that?” 

Wrong thing to say, obviously. Because when Adam finally meets his gaze- it is icy cold.  

“Before he was ever my partner, he was my best friend. Even if we aren’t together anymore, I’d still give anything to see him again.” His gaze returns to the ground, but he doesn’t pace. He simply grabs his coat and opens the door. At last, seeming like he’d made a decision. “I need to lock up, go back to your dorm.” He says, frosty as ever.  

Caleb frowns, “wait- no- i’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.” He lies, as he shakes himself out of his stupor, stumbling over the couch to stand on his feet.

Adam huffs, crossing his arms, “I still need you to get out.”   
“Let me come with?”

“I don’t care.”

He takes that as a yes.

 

Landing on Earth again felt indescribable. Feeling the lions shift and purr as they settled onto the ground- as if they could feel their paladin’s contentment within. They were finally home. 

“Here goes nothing.” says Lance, his voice wobbling. Shiro had made special note to have the paladin’s families in the premises when they landed, specifically for this reason. He knew instantly that they- Lance and Hunk especially, would take off without any check-ups at all to go see their parents and break all kinds of rules all over again.

“Is that-?” Keith asks in astonishment, his eyes looking over at the figure standing a bit further away from the crowd of officers and family. 

“Adam.” Shiro says, shock covering his features. He hadn’t expected him to come.

Adam stands there, statuesque as ever with a neutral look on his face. He’d hardly changed at all since Shiro had last seen him. He stands next to a taller man that Shiro doesn’t recognise, a new officer- he supposed. That didn’t matter to him though, because all that really mattered was that Adam was here to see him. He’d come. Despite everything, despite it all being Takashi’s fault- despite the pain he’d put him through. He’d come. 

Keith looks at Shiro, raising his eyebrows, “you ready to go?” 

Shiro says nothing, simply nodding as he headed for the black lion’s exit. Taking off his helmet in an act of solidarity. Knowing at last, for certain, that the planet he stepped out on was safe to breathe from. He was the last to walk out, the former leader of Voltron, the pilot of the Kerberos mission, the once famed cadet that had flown circles around everyone here. None of it mattered in the slightest. 

 

Seeing him in the flesh again made Adam certain that the man before his eyes was Takashi Shirogane. You could not fake the powerful way Shiro carried himself, even when he wasn’t trying. This was his Shiro. 

Next to him was Keith. Looking so much older and taller than before, it was like he’d grown up in front of Adam’s eyes within seconds. 

It’s more than Adam can really take. His emotions well up in him like a dormant volcano long overdue for an eruption. He’d looked up into the sky hundred of nights wondering if he’d always feel this hole in his heart, if, when he was alone and unable to stop these thoughts- would he always feel so empty? Never once did he anticipate that perhaps, he wasn’t alone. That maybe, just maybe, he and Takashi had been staring at the same cosmos at the same time, together but thousands of miles away from one another.

Turning off his brain for another fraction of a second- forgetting all the anguish that those two had put him through- forgetting every misgiving and miscommunication. They were alive and they were here. Within reach. 

He takes off in a run before his mind can stop him, toward the pair of them- toward his family. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro; hey sweetie can u pass the salt? :)  
> lance, keith, pidge, hunk, allura, coran, matt; *reaches 4 the salt*  
> shiro; sorry i was talking to adam :)  
> adam, drinking an entire bottle of wine; p e r i s h


	8. Mimas

Shiro notices first, looking right into the eyes of Adam, full on sprinting toward him.

He sees the eyes of a man that had stopped at nothing to kick his ass in monopoly, horrendously over-salt his omelets and hog the covers during the coldest nights in winter.

It’s the best thing he’s seen in- ever.

He wonders how he ever left for the Kerberos mission when he looks at him. He loves him so much-

 

Adam, doesn’t slow down as he draws closer. He reaches Shiro within seconds but it’s still not quick enough, over a dozen onlookers are there, staring with blatant shock- especially the ones that were familiar with Adam. He wasn’t exactly a big drama kind of guy. Nevertheless, his arms open wide, outspread. Gaining enough momentum, he tackles the man to the ground in the most outwardly dramatic gesture he’d ever done in his life.

Shiro makes a brief squawk of surprise before going down like a pile of bricks with him. He too, wasn’t expecting this from Adam.  

 

“And here I thought I’d be the first one to get grey hair.” Adam said, his arms still wrapped around Shiro’s neck. He was panting from all the running he’d just done and this position was near impossible to maintain- but he couldn’t care less. Shiro was here, in his arms- he was alive. “You son of a bitch. You didn’t tell me where the waffle iron was before you left.”

Shiro chuckles, sending chills down Adam spine as he hears the vibration by his ear. It all feels too real. Too good to be true, almost. Adam hugs him closer to make sure he’s not dreaming. He isn’t.

When Adam finally pulls away, getting up to look at Keith and narrowing his eyes. “And you!” He points at the red paladin. “You are in so much trouble.”

Keith gulps.

Shiro smirks at him but Adam’s sharp glare doesn’t let up. “Oh don’t think you’re getting out of this. Not a chance, Takashi, I’m double mad at you.” The expression is wiped off his face within a second.

Lance looks upon the scene with grand amusement. Even amongst the reunion- he would never pass up a chance to give Keith a hard time. “You’re in troubleeeeeee.” He calls from over where his family had surrounded him.

“Fuck off Lance!”

“Sorry, Yorak.”

Keith growls Lance’s way but Adam quickly yanks Keith’s arm into a much awaited hug. He holds the kid close to him, so tightly that he can hear Keith wince- but Adam doesn’t let up. He should have done this long before they were ever separated by space.  

“You didn’t mention to me that you were going to fucking punch Iverson and get kicked out of the garrison before you left.”

“I’m not sorry I did it.” Keith says stubbornly, wrapping his arms around Adam nevertheless. “He deserved it.” He tilts his head out of Adam’s grasps and looks over at the soldier in question himself. “No offense.”

Iverson stiffens, looking uncomfortable. “None taken.”

He releases Keith from his grasps, noticing the paladin was turning ever so slightly blue from the tightness of his embrace.

Adam realises there’s a hand on his shoulder not long after it. Shiro always did that when he wanted to have a little talk. Meaning that it was serious. It seemed Adam couldn’t suspend his disbelief any longer- the two of them had a lot of shit to sort out between them.

“Can we talk?” Shiro raises a questioning pale eyebrow. He looks somewhere between reminiscent and afraid.

Adam nods, moving to find somewhere secluded, but suddenly someone else is calling his name. Ever the popular kid, he supposed. He turns to see Caleb, wandering over to where he stood and feels a start in his chest.

He’d entirely forgotten he was there. He felt awful.

Adam waves him over with a smile, feeling guilty for just leaving him there when he ran off.

“Who’s that?” Shiro asks, not conniving in any sense. He was simply curious.

Caleb moves over to Adam’s side and slings an arm over his shoulder with a laugh. He looks tired from the jog over.. “God, I hope you were on the track team in school- you left me in the dust.”

Takashi squints.

“I’m not fast, you’re just slow.” Adam teases, he looks over to where Shiro still stood. seeming a little awkward now. He looked like he was still trying to figure out something.

Adam shrugs it off for now, “Takashi Shirogane- this is Caleb Masters. Caleb Masters- this is Takashi Shirogane.”  

“Friends call me Shiro.” Takashi says with his usual heroic politeness that Adam had grown akin to over the years- that was his ‘stranger’ voice. He holds out his one arm for the other to shake.

“Nice to meet you, _Shirogane_.” Caleb says, taking his hand.

“So are you guys co-pilots?” Shiro asks the two of them, looking between them.

Adam opens his mouth, “We’re-”

“I’m his boyfriend.” Caleb interrupts, leaning a little closer to Adam.

 

_Boyfriend?_

“Oh.” Shiro’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “cool, cool, cooooool, yeah. Nice to meet you.”

_FUCK FUCK FUCK._

 

Adam doesn’t move to shrug him off, instead just adjusting his glasses. He looks at Takashi. “You said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Uh- yeah.” Takashi fumbles. “Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”  
Adam quirks his eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“We need to all get checked out by the medics anyway, haha.” Shiro says far too quickly for it to be normal. “Make sure we don’t have space plague hahaha.” Was he sweating?  

“Why are you saying ‘hahaha’ out loud?”

Takashi looks even more uncomfortable. He starts messing with the tuft of hair on the top of his head. It feels like there’s a giant stone in the bottom of his stomach. “Haha good one, bye babe- ADAM.” He clears his throat, “Bye Adam, love you- fuck- I mean- I’ll see you later.”

 

Shiro then proceeds to almost _sprint_ back to where Keith was listening to the whole thing with an expression of both horror and extreme amusement.

Keith just looks at him, “ _Dude.”_

Shiro puts his face in his hands, walking over to the doctors standing by to take them for testing. Keith follows him, “that was a disaster.”

“I think I should have just stayed in the astral plane.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro's only got a left arm bc nothing in his life goes right


	9. Hyperion

Shiro is either going to die from embarrassment, or die trying. He’s watching the doctors walk around him quizzically but he doesn’t for a second even really notice their presence. He’s too far stuck in his head.

Keith, whom had gotten out of the check with only a few dumb bandages- pats him on the shoulder in what Takashi supposes is a comforting gesture.

“So… Adam looks well. Still strong.” Keith winces, holding his arm. The man had hugged him far too tight for his liking. “That’s good.”  
Shiro hums not quite able to formulate a response. He isn’t all that sure why he’s so upset. Did he really not anticipate the possibility that Adam may have moved on? They were broken up- and even if that wasn’t the case, Shiro wouldn’t expect him to remain untethered forever. That would just be insanity.

Then why did it hurt?

Oh, right. Because he wasn’t dead. He was here. He was watching it happen.

God, this sucked.

Looking at Adam interact with this Caleb guy was giving Shiro a headache. The man had wrapped his arm around Adam’s neck so casually- affectionately. It sent a spike of pain through Shiro’s chest. A spike that had no right at all to be there.

At least he looked happy.

“Come on, dude.” Lance barges in through the curtains, much to the nurse’s dismay. It seemed Shiro was the most injured out of all the paladins. No real surprise there, a lot of shit happened in space. “You’ve got to win him back.”

Shiro just sighs at him, “that’s not how adults do things, Lance.”

“Well maybe they should.” He said firmly, putting his hands on his hips.

Keith frowns, looking between the two of them. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but… I agree with Lance.”

“What?” Lance and Shiro say in unison, both equally as confused as one another.

Keith nods adamantly, “look, it’s pretty clear that you guys still love each other. I think if you’d come back from Kerberos those years ago, you would’ve gotten back together.”

“But I didn’t come back. It’s been years. Things change.” Shiro interjects gruffly, looking down at his hand with a solemn kind of sadness. He felt acceptance well in his chest like a tide.

“No offense, but that’s bullshit.” Keith replies, “I knew you two for a good while before you went and fucked it up. Adam would literally do anything for you. Remember when you and Matt got drunk in the flight simulator and you threw up in there? He came to haul both your asses back in his slippers. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

Lance listens to the story with rapt joy. “So Mr. Garrison hero does have his flaws.” He teases, a smile bright on his face. “I always thought it was Hunk who’d done that.”

Shiro grimaces, “he didn’t get in trouble did he?”

“Nah, they were surprisingly chill.” He puts a hand on his chin. “Almost weirdly chill.” Lance squints his eyes. “Do you think this Adam dude could have covered for it?”

“It sounds like him.” Takashi says, a soft sad smile on his face. “He always looked out for everyone.”  
“Oh my God, you poor disastrous homosexual.” Lance cries, his arms flailing about dramatically. “This is honestly so sad. You need to get him back.”

“He has a boyfriend, Lance, that’s morally ambiguous _at best._ ”

“Well, you should at least talk to him.” Keith adds, for once the pair of them seemed to be on the same side. Which was about time- considering they’ve been on the same team for a few years now. The look the pair give each other is one of a strange solidarity that Takashi can’t quite explain. Something about the Earth’s air had cleared their heads. Perhaps, finally, they could stop the awful tone of flirting they’d adopted and actually do something about it. _Maybe they’d get over their anxieties and admit their feelings._ Shiro thought, not at all noticing that he was the pot calling the kettle black.

Keith and Lance leave him alone once they realise his silence is one of great reflection. They end up bickering out the door as always.

 

Adam is once more pacing. This time, in a renewed kind of a way that made it feel like his energy was about to burst out of his chest. Was this… excitement?

“I can’t believe he’s actually alive. I mean, I saw him do the transmission and everything but, actually touching him made me realise I wasn’t dreaming. God, I forgot to yell at him for so many things....” Adam stops pacing for a moment, moving toward the door of his compartment.

“Woah, where are you going?”

“I’m going to yell at Shiro.”

“I thought we were gonna watch another movie,” Caleb whines from the couch, his head lulling to the side like a downtrodden dog.

“I gotta go do this first.”

Caleb frowns, moving up from the couch. “You’ve been frantic ever since we came back. What’s come over you?”

Adam fixes his jaw, “well this situation is quite peculiar is it not? Forgive me if I’m not back to my well adjusted self.” He replies haughtily.

Caleb crosses his arms, his head in a tilt now. Squinting, he tries to figure it out. The real reason Adam was leaving wasn’t because he wanted to yell at Shiro. That, he was certain about.

The other man sighs, “Uh- he- Takashi- Shiro had a disease before he left for Kerberos. He only had about a year left to live when he set off.” Adam confesses, rubbing his hand on his forearm- looking uncomfortable. “I figured even if he had survived whatever happened at Kerberos, he’d be dead by now anyway because of his own condition.”

“Ah.” Caleb replies, not entirely certain what was the correct reply.

“If he was somehow cured- I- I need to know.” Adam makes another move for the door.

Caleb grabs his arm. “Why is it important?”

“It-” He sighs, shaking off his grasps, “It just is, trust me, okay?”

“No.”  

Adam can’t help but wonder what Caleb’s deal was. This wasn't his usual carefree behaviour. His demeanour had changed almost instantaneously the moment Shiro announced the Paladin’s arrival. He’d grown more possessive than he ever had- clingy.

Adam feels the clarity sink into him like a slow acting poison.

“You’re… jealous?”

Caleb frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. The hazel in his eyes had dulled to a dark chocolate colour. “Just tell me- tell me one thing and I’ll let everything go.”

“Anything.”

“Say you don’t love him anymore?”

Adam finds his own lips fall flat on his face. His brain told him to speak- to say these words to put him at ease.

He couldn’t.

It would be a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come on caleb have you SEEN space dad??? who could not be in love with that disastrous gay


	10. Tethys

The silence in the room is what Adam could only describe as immensely uncomfortable. The pair of them stand there, staring at each other- waiting for one of them to speak first. 

“I can’t say I don’t love him anymore…” Adam admits, biting his bottom lip- not looking directly at Caleb. It felt too painful. It felt wrong. “I do. I still did, even when I thought he was dead.” He had to find a way to fix this- to fix them. Yet lying wasn’t the way.  

“But it doesn’t mean I want to be with him.” He continues, “it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.” 

“Adam- I can’t just stand and watch as you fret over another man that you just  _ admitted  _ you still love.” 

Adam sets his jaw, despite his petulance- he made a valid point. He thought of Caleb as a person, how much he’d helped him even before they’d started dating. How he’d brought a little slice of colour back into his monotonous life of starless skies. He was good. He was good for Adam. Perhaps, he could learn to love him. Right? He needed a less turbulent life- a lover who would die of old age- not some freak accident. 

“If you want me to stay away from him. I will.” Adam says, feeling his chest sink in some strange way. “Let me talk to him one last time and then I’ll avoid him for as long as he stays here. You can have my word.” It’s the least he could do. Adam owed him.   
He had to do this.

He couldn’t just let Takashi back in his life. Especially after what had conspired between them. He’d just  _ left  _ Earth, knowing Adam wanted him to stay and spend his last couple of months alive with him. 

Yes, this was better. They were better apart. They had to be. Despite what his heart was telling him. They broke up before- who was to say they wouldn’t again? Adam knew he couldn’t stand that pain- long before this even happened. He told Takashi not to expect him to be here when he came back, and he meant it.

He would have to make good on his promise.

Caleb looks at him, his frown not wavering. He pushes away the curly strands of chocolate brown hair encroaching around his eyebrows. “You- You’d do that?”

Adam nods, “You’re right. We broke up. That shouldn’t be different now that he’s back.” He thinks about how dramatically he’d acted back at the landing zone and winces. He didn’t take back that giant hug- Adam had needed that. He needed it to make sure that it was real- that it was Shiro. Boyfriend or not. Shiro was his friend.

Caleb nods, “I’m sorry for acting so weird. I just didn’t want to lose you.” He brushes a hand through his hair uncomfortably. “Especially after I finally managed to get you.” 

Adam smiles in return but there’s something in the back of his brain telling him not to go down this track. That he wasn’t something to be ‘gotten.’ 

He, like most of the problems in his head, decides to utterly ignore it and stomp it down for later.

A knock at the door startles Adam out of that little tidbit of thinking. Caleb raises a questioning eyebrow at him, “expecting anyone?” he says. This really wasn’t the greatest time, especially given what had just gone- and is continuing to go down.

Adam shakes his head, moving to the door anyway. 

He opens the door to find Keith, standing there with what looked to be another paladin of Voltron. From what Adam could recall (which was little) the blue one. But he couldn’t be sure, their strange space uniform had been replaced with the standard garrison trainee uniform.

“Keith?”

“You ran off before we got to talk properly.” Keith says in form of greeting- never a fan of traditional  _ politeness.  _ He nudges past Adam and moves into the apartment space. He sighs, taking in their old collective apartment. 

“I’d apologise for him but I’m sure you already know how he is.” The (possibly) blue paladin says with a grimace on his face. “I’m Lance.” 

“Adam,” Adam says, taking the hand Lance had held out for him to shake. He moves out of the way for the boy so he can join the other inside. 

Adam crosses his arms, tilting his head ever so slightly. He looks at the pair of them with a quizzical eye. The way this ‘Lance’ had apologised on Keith’s behalf- the way the pair of them seemed to gravitate toward each other... “So, how long have you two been dating?”

Keith sputters for just the slightest of moments before (amazingly) gaining back his composure. If he’d been drinking coffee, he probably would have done a spit take. Instead, he scoffs, “we’re not dating. Lance has the hots for the princess.” Did Adam detect a hint of jealousy in that reply? 

Lance on the other hand, his soul had looked like it was about to evaporate the moment Adam had said the word ‘Keith’ and’ dating’ in the same sentence. 

Yeah, Keith, don’t think he has the hots for the princess. Unless the princess was a mullet wearing, emo fuc-

Keith, not seeming to notice this, continues to politely intrude around Adam’s apartment. He takes in the surroundings before meeting eyes with Caleb. 

God, if Shiro was kind of like a parental figure to him and so was Adam- and now Adam was dating someone else ... That as well as including his own father. AND Krolia.

Did that mean Keith had like, four dads?

He’d gone from zero parents to  _ five.  _

Just who would give Keith away at his and Lance’s weddin-

Okay he was getting sidetracked.

“Caleb, right?” Keith squints, sizing up the man in front of him. He was tall- not quite as tall as Shiro. With the same light olive skin as Pidge. He seemed like the easy going type- but right now he was frowning like Keith had just killed his entire family in front of him. 

“Woah, Keith chill out.” Lance tells him, hands up in a calming motion. It is only then that Keith realises he’d been glaring at Caleb.

He couldn’t be fighting Shiro’s battles, no matter how much he wanted to. 

But, God dammit, Takashi deserved some peace and quiet- and more than anything, he deserved some happiness. A happiness Keith is sure he will find in Adam once more.

“Sorry,” Keith curtly apologises to Caleb, crossing his arms. He tries to maintain a tone of mild guilt- but one that expresses how ‘not that’ sorry he actually was. He quickly turns back to Adam, whom looks mildly peeved at his behaviour- what was new. “We came to take you to Shiro. He said he wanted to see you.” That was a lie, but if Keith didn’t try and get his weird pseudo dads back together then who would?!

Caleb looks pensive, but Adam places a hand on his shoulder, nodding in acknowledgement of Keith’s statement. He begins pulling on one of the coats he’d hung up on the rack. 

“I’m coming too.” Caleb says, apparently not satisfied and not trusting. He moved to the door.

“I need to talk to him alone, Caleb.” Adam replies, narrowing his eyes. 

Caleb sets his jaw, “I’ll wait outside then.”   
“I thought we had an agreement.”

“I never said anything about-”

“So I’m a prisoner now?” 

“No- Adam. You’re not listening to me.”

Keith and Lance exchange glances- both varying levels of awkward. 

Caleb slung a scarf over his neck, adjusting his glasses. “We’ll talk about this later-I’m leaving. You’re staying here- or going home. I don’t really care.” 

Keith and Lance follow him. 

“Damn,” Lance muttered under his breath, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly- this pair of strangers that he barely knew had just had a tiff in front of him and it was making it a little uncomfortable, to say the least.

Keith, who felt just as weirded out, nods along. He, however, always did have a death wish.

“So… trouble in paradise?”   
“Shut your mouth, young man.” Adam snaps, before picking up the pace toward the hospital wing. He stomps forward despite not knowing where to go.

“Young man?”

God, what next? Was Keith gonna get grounded?

Adam’s glare makes him swallow his retort. 

“Why is he so anal about you going to see Shiro?” Lance asks, innocently enough, and it’s either because he doesn’t know Lance as well- or the genuinely interested tone Lance maintains- but Adam isn’t harsh when he replies this time.

“Caleb thinks that since Shiro and I used to date we’re instantly going to strip and go at it the moment we’re alone with each other.” Adam says, truthfully enough. 

“I think that’s what Shiro wanted…” Keith muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the real reason keith barged into adams place was to check if his evanescence posters were still there
> 
> they were
> 
> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


	11. Umbriel

“Mr. Shirogane, the muscle deficiencies in your body have all been eradicated! Everything that had begun deteriorating has repaired itself!”” An enthused physician exclaimed, utterly flabbergasted. 

“Yeah. I know.” Shiro says, grimacing at the thought of actually explaining  _ why  _ that was. He had to remember that human generally wouldn’t take the whole  _ ‘Oh yeah I died, but thankfully an evil alien empire had thousands of clones of me so we just transported my soul- which was in a gigantic robotic fucking lion, by the way- into the vessel- and now I’m not going to die young, yay!’ _

The doctor writes something down on his chart, a quizzical eyebrow quirking upwards at the man.

_ Please don’t ask how. Please don’t ask how. Please don’t ask how.  _

“And how is that?”

FUCK.

Shiro was going to be transported to a psych ward for the rest of his life if he actually told the truth. No matter how far advanced the garrison was- even Shiro had a hard time wrapping his head around it most of the time. And it had happened to  _ him. _

“Uhhh… Alien medicine.” Takashi says sounding stupid even to himself. It felt like he’d been sitting up in this hospital bed  _ for hours.  _ He just wanted to sleep or eat pizza- or  _ something other than this.  _

“I see.” The doctor seems to take it, probably with a grain of salt given what Shiro had gone through but nevertheless. “I’ll have you take some supplements regardless, all you paladins were iron deficient when you returned- did they not have legumes in space?!”

“The fuck is a legume?’

Lance had suddenly appeared from somewhere unknown- asking the question Shiro was just about to ask himself. 

“A legume is a dried fruit contained within a pod. Like a pea.” Came the answer- not from the doctor, but another much more familiar voice.

Adam.

Ever the nerd, he emerged from the medical curtains with a little smug smile on his face. He looked so cute. God, Shiro was so screwed. 

Looking at him closely now, without the rush of adrenaline in his veins- he can tell that Adam’s changed just ever so slightly. His hair is just that much longer- it brushes the edges of his eyebrows. The dark circles under his eyes weren’t there before- then again, neither were Shiro’s. But the honey sweet colour in his eyes were as unchanging as the moon in their atmosphere. They, at the very least, were a homely comfort Takashi had desperately missed while he was in space.

“Adam,” Shiro whispers, a soft smile on his face. All the embarrassment from their reunion rushing away with the feeling of how much he’d wanted to see him again. 

Adam, in turn, smiles a little himself. Stepping closer to the bed, he crossed his arm- a habit he always picked up when he felt awkward. “You… Keith said you wanted to talk to me?”

Shiro raises a critical eyebrow over at Keith, who looks sheepish to say the least. “Is that so?”

Lance, beside him just does finger guns before dragging Keith, (the utterly baffled doctor) and himself out of the small pseudo room they’d all been cramped into. 

Adam rolls his eyes, “I guess we needed to talk anyway,” he mutters with a sigh, pulling up the chair that had been growing cold by Shiro’s bed. A bout of silence crosses amongst them, almost as if they can’t quite find the words to say- either that or they can’t bring themselves to say them.

“Brings back memories, huh?” Adam says, settling further into the seat. There’s a genuine smile on his features now, that had always been Shiro’s favourite smile. The one that shifted the glasses atop Adam’s nose up ever so slightly. The smile that made the almost invisible freckles on Adam’s cheeks become just that more noticeable. Shiro loved that smile. He thought he’d never see it again.

“Me in a hospital bed. You sitting next to me?” Takashi asks, a laugh in his voice. “Which time?”

That smile fades away with the moment as Adam looks down at the floor. “Every time before it got serious.” 

Ah yes. Takashi could remember those times as well. Watching only Adam as the doctor told him what he already knew. He was dying and all he could look at was Adam. Watch his face, look at the utterly heartbroken expression cross his usually composed features. 

Those, Shiro had to admit, didn’t make him nostalgic for hospitals.

“Adam-”

“Takashi-”

They both say at the same time, interrupting one another. 

“Takashi.” Adam continues, finality in his voice. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but-” He places his hands on his knees, not looking Shiro in the eye. “How are you alive? The doctor gave you a couple of months  _ at best,  _ when a year passed without you returning I just assumed that if whatever is out there hadn’t killed you- you were dead anyway.”

Takashi sets his jaw, staring at the one hand he had left. Did he tell Adam the truth? Would he even believe him? Did it even matter if he didn’t?

Takashi decides, well, fuck it, if Adam didn’t believe him what did he really have to lose? He rattles off the entire story in- somehow- under five minutes. It’s an impressive feat that has him mildly red in the face at the end of it. 

Adam, as he listens, looks more and more incredulous as the story goes on- but he doesn’t once interrupt Takashi. He just lets him talk.

Adam for all his patience and cool headedness, just stares at Shiro with wide eyes. “So… you’re completely cured because you’re a clone?”

“No! My  _ body  _ is a clone. My mind is still me.” 

“What the fuck.”

Takashi laughs awkwardly, finding his eyes drawn to Adam yet again. Watching the calculating, logical man try and wrap his head around that. 

“You’re not dying?”

“Everyone’s dying.”   
“You know that’s not what I mean.”   
Takashi smiles, a little hope of slithering through the cracks of his exterior. He never really entertained the thought of being able to live a long happy life. Especially when they were in space. Even when he came back- he was almost certain that if it came down to the paladins or him- he’d trade his life for theirs. But now, “nope, not dying.”   
Adam can’t disguise his own smile, the relief coming off of him like waves. “Talk about an ex machina. This space bullshit is way out of even  _ my  _ expertise.”

“Tell me about it. I like to just think that someone out there’s thrown me a bone and I really don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.” 

“You just used two idioms in one sentence.”

“And that’s why I beat you in English. Every. Single. Time.” 

The pair of them shares a strange length of laughter that lasts probably longer than it really should. It’s filled with all this emotion that had been carried for far too long. 

Adam, once again, let’s him forget the promise he had made to Caleb and let’s himself imagine that they were just cadets again, fumbling their way through love the only way they knew how. 

He grabs on Shiro’s hand and neither of them protest when he doesn’t let go for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two bros chillin in a hospital, five feet apart because they're ex lovers that still have feelings for each other


	12. Io

Eventually, reality sneaks back up on them with the sunrise. The soft pink hues, rising from the dark, arid land surrounding the base. Adam was never usually around at this time to watch it. 

“I missed seeing the sun rise.” Shiro whispers, watching the warm colours drift into the atmosphere. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. “It’s not the same on any other planet in the galaxy.”

“I’ll take your word for that.” Adam says, equally as quiet, a soft smile playing on his lips as he tore his eyes away from the window. There would be a million more sunrises, a million more times in which the sky would be painted with the warm colours of dawn. But watching Takashi like this- Adam wasn’t sure how many more of these moment he’d have. 

Shiro must not notice the way Adam was looking at him, his eyes were too fixated on the window. It makes it easier for the both of them. “It’s beautiful.” 

Adam can’t help but feel the swirling melancholy in his chest, “yeah,” he says, “it is.”

He waits another moment before he rises from his chair, the movement breaking the scene in two like fragile glass. Adam couldn’t forego his psyche like this forever, he couldn’t leave all these aspects of his life at the door for an eternity. No matter how much it felt like he wanted to. 

“I have to go,” he speaks, trying his best not to look back. He knows that the expression on Shiro’s face will make him want to stay. “Some of us have normal jobs, you know?” 

He hears Takashi’s soft chuckle from behind him, “I’ll see you later?”

Adam doesn’t have the heart to say anything so he simply make a non committal noise and exits the hospital room with a heavy chest. 

 

Adam was never particularly fond of the garrison’s cafeteria. It was loud, crowded- and everyone seemed to want to have an entire conversation with him.

But, alas, desperate times would call for desperate measures.

Meaning, he was out of his own shitty coffee, so he would need to go out into the public eye and get the garrison’s own version of the same shitty coffee. 

None of this would have happened if he’d actually slept the night before, but when your ex-boyfriend returns back to Earth after years of thinking he was dead- you kind of have to forego the recommended eight hours.

He steps into the cafeteria, and it all begins. 

Dozens of voices permeate the room, all talking over one another- it smells dimly of mildly charred toast and garrison regulated porridge. God, he was so happy not to be a cadet anymore. Having his own living quarters with a kitchen and everything saved his ass so many times. 

Adam is considering just forgetting the coffee altogether when he’s approached by none other than Matt Holt. 

“Adam! You’re here! I was gonna say hi back on the tarmac but Mom wasn’t letting go of me anytime soon.” He grins, scratching the back of his head with a laugh. He’d gotten a lot less wiry since Adam had last seen him- he held the same kind of weariness in his expression that Shiro did, but that smile hadn’t changed. 

Adam returns the smile, the corners of his mouth a little worn from tiredness. He’s hugging Matt in the middle of the cafeteria before he can even think to stop himself. What was him being so touchy feely these days?  

“It’s good to have you back.” 

“It’s good to be back.” 

They seperate and Matt slaps him on the shoulder, a bright laugh escapes his body. “I can’t believe you tackled Shiro back there. A-plus reunion scene, I was very impressed with the theatrics.”

Adam groans, “I don’t know what came over me.” He slumps, defeated.

Matt gives him another good natured pat, his toothy grin never wavering. “I’d tackle my boyfriend too if he came back to life- jacked and with a new hair colour.”    
“Ex-boyfriend.” Adam correctly primly. 

Matt rolls his eyes, looking over to the tables where the rest of the returnees must be situated. Pidge from the side gives him a hurry up gesture and Matt gives her the finger. The good natured banter makes Adam idly wish he had a sibling. “Anyway, I need to get coffee for my gremlin ass sister, so we’ll have to catch up later.” He scans the cafeteria for good measure and puts his hands on his hips, “woah, who pissed in that guy’s cheerios?”

Adam looks at his line of sight and notices Caleb eyeing the pair of them. 

He audibly sighs, “I’ll catch you later, Matt.” 

Adam finally gets his coffee and shuffles reluctantly over to where Caleb is still judging in silence. It’s better now than later, he supposed.

Caleb’s definitely still pissed from the night previous, he can feel it emanating off of him in waves. The way his eyebrows are furrowing makes it look like he’s hilariously infuriated with his toast. “How is Shirogane?” he asks, finally, taking a casual sip of his drink. 

“He’s great.” Adam says shortly, feeling almost as if he was walking on eggshells. “We talked and I feel a lot better.”

Caleb relaxes a little into his seat, “good.” His narrowed eyes do not leave Adam’s form nevertheless. His follow up question explains why. “Did you spend all night with him?”

Realising what the other was implying, Adam scowls. “You really think that little of me?”

Caleb shrugs, “I don’t know, who was that guy you were just talking to?”

Adam’s jaw drops, “ _ Matt? _ Do you really think that I’ve slept with every guy that I’m friends with?”

“No! I-” Caleb screws up his expression, his hands scratching his head. His shoulders are tense and he looks back down at his food. “I’m just a bit on edge, is all.”

Adam eyes him with a weary kind of indifference, he takes a sip of his positively  _ awful  _ coffee and just sighs again. “I know that this isn’t the best situation we’re in, but you really need to trust me here.”

Caleb looks at him and scoffs, “have you seen  _ Shirogane?  _ Can you really blame me for having a few trust issues?” He takes another swig of his cup. 

Adam swallows his retort. He really didn’t want to fight again. He didn’t want to bring up the fact that relationships were built on trust. It would just end in more slamming doors and more shouting. 

So he just stares at the mug in the other’s hand. “Thought you hated coffee?”

“This is still chocolate milk.”

“You’re downing it like it’s vodka.”

“There’s a bit of that in it too.”

“It’s six in the morning.”

Before Caleb has a chance to possibly reply with a defense, Adam’s communication device begin buzzing with life. 

Caleb eyes him strangely and looks at his own wrist- he stares blankly at his bare wrist and realises with a groan that he’d left it somewhere in his compartment. Adam raises an eyebrow and begins speaking aloud the message from Iverson reading, _ ‘all personnel ranking B or higher rendezvous in meeting room 5 at 0700 and await further instructions.’ _

Guess that meant that Shiro was finally on the mend and he was ready to spill the beans on all the crazy antics he and his paladins had gotten up to. 

Adam idly thinks that at least he has an excuse to see Shiro again. 

But a meeting of this scale?- Ugh this was going to be a nightmare.

He steals Caleb’s cup and drinks the rest of it in front of him. “Guess if I got a text message from  _ Iverson  _ that means I’m sleeping with him too then, huh?” Adam screws up his nose before getting up and moving away. Okay, maybe he was still kind of pissed from the remark. Okay, maybe it was a little bit petty of him not to just let the tension settle.

Perhaps he didn’t enjoy letting things lie and accumulate dust. 

That’s probably why he felt like he couldn’t stay away from Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since voltron only gave adam the last name initial, 'w' i'm assuming that his full last name is 'wig' bc he just snatched caleb's


	13. Dione

Adam hadn’t anticipated seeing Shiro so soon after their unofficial final ‘goodbye’ reunion bullshit with each other. But he knew in his heart of hearts that he didn’t care in the slightest. Because goodbye never really felt real with Takashi, it never felt permanent. That’s probably what caused Adam’s undoing in the first place- but now was not the time to nitpick over his morality. 

Takashi stands in front of about two dozen garrison officials with his eclectic crew of aliens and humans, looking as stoic as ever despite the utterly insane situation they were all facing. This, was most undoubtedly, the beginning of something entirely new for the human race- and Adam hadn’t the slightest clue what would come next for everyone. 

Iverson moves up to speak first, his mouth an even line and dark circles rounding his eyes. He too, must have lost sleep over this. “Attention!” He cries, his booming voice never ceasing to make Adam squint with unease. “Due to the overwhelmingly critical situation at hand, we are devoting all the manpower we have to access the information returned to us by the paladins of Voltron. This means we will be assigning each one of you to a different asset of the case effective immediately. Sector 1- Your task is to analyse the mechanics of Voltron’s separate lions under the supervision of our Altean visitors.” Adam wasn’t Sector 1, and looking at both the Altean’s fierce nods, he was kind of glad he wasn’t. “Sector 2!” Adam  _ was  _ sector 2, however. “Is to accumulate data from your subjects, assess their knowledge and report back within the month.”

Now that, that seemed a little bit better. Adam relaxed a little in his chair. 

Caleb makes a noise of distaste from beside him, crossing his arms. “Sir, who is being assigned to who?”

Iverson clicks his tongue, looking at the names highlighted in an icy blue before him. “Keith Kogane, you are with Caleb Masters.” Adam doesn’t neglect to notice Keith’s click of the tongue. “Katie Holt you are with Veronica Mcclain,” Lance beside her makes a disappointed noise, upset that he wouldn’t get to slack off with his sister, most likely. “Takashi Shirogane,” Shiro, upon hearing his name, straightens up a little, an awkward anticipating smile on his face, “you are with Adam W-”

“I’d like to switch!” Caleb puts his hand up before Iverson can even finish his sentence. 

Adam narrows his eyes. Seriously?

Iverson stares at him, “this isn’t elementary school, Masters, what is your reasoning?”

Caleb is as smooth as silk with his answer, it’s damn near unnerving. It was like the guy had a different personality for everyone he met. “I specialise in robotics, sir, I thought it would be more useful for myself to inspect Shirogane- as he still has some alien mechanical matter left in his arm.” Caleb must have read up on him, after all. “I believe it would be of more use for someone who knows what they’re doing to analyse him.” 

Oh, Adam was not liking this one bit anymore. It was one thing to let this involve their personal lives, but their  _ jobs  _ as well? 

Iverson, unaware that any of this was happening, simply nods and moves something around on his list. Of course this was the one time that bastard was being lenient with something. “Fine. Masters is with Shirogane, anyone else have an issue?”

Silence fills the room, Adam’s stewing rage is almost palpable in it. 

“We’ll touch base in two weeks to provide your initial findings. Dismissed.”

Adam had no issue with not being assigned to Takashi. They were adults and when people are adults, they accept the job they’re given and they do it well. 

What he did have an issue with, however, was this petty, utterly stupid jealousy Caleb seemed to hold over Shiro. This demeaning conflict held no undiscussed basis and had been addressed multiple times. Yet nothing had seemed to change. 

Adam sets his jaw. They were definitely going to have words. 

Takashi approaches with Keith, who looked just about as pissed as Adam felt inside- that might have just been Keith’s face though.

But Shiro was always a good sport. Shiro actually hated facing confrontation the hard way. Shiro always played fair even when his opponent didn’t. 

“Guess you’ll be interrogating me then,” Takashi says good naturedly toward Caleb, letting out an uncomfortable laugh. “Please do your best, I’m as curious as you are.” He mustn't see the burning resentment resting in Caleb’s eyes- he’d never really been good with that kind of thing. Guess he’d never really had experience in that field. 

Keith kicks the side of Adam’s chair, giving him a little nudge. “Are you that bummed out for getting me?” He said it in a snarky joking way- but there was definitely some real feeling behind it. 

Adam couldn’t neglect that, his eyes defrost just the slightest bit. “Can’t get rid of you even if I try, can I?”

Keith huffs, “yeah well since you’re clearly super  _ ill equipped  _ and  _ unsuitable  _ to take on the winter soldier over here, you get me as a consolidatory prize.”

Caleb is once again affronted with the most nasty look possible from Keith- and this time Adam’s certain it’s on purpose. He doesn’t call him up on it, however, as he wanted to do the exact same thing. 

“We should talk again later,” Shiro says to Adam, not at all picking up on the rising tension in front of him. “I know it feels like we just did but… We should catch up, for real- without all the hospital monitors and doctors.”

Adam, is spitefully about to reply on how much he’d like that when Caleb interrupts him, “let’s go Shirogane, we have tests to go through.” He doesn’t look at Adam. He must know that he’d see utter hell glaring right back at him. Oh yes, they were going to have words tonight. 

“Uh, right.” Shiro says awkwardly, following on after Caleb- who was seemingly quickening his pace. Adam watches both of their backs until he can’t see them anymore- even after that he’s still staring out into the hallway with a frown on his face.

“I don’t even care if he’s your boyfriend, I will fight him.” Keith says, oddly casual with the statement. “He’s got a real punchable face.”

“You think everyone has a punchable face.” 

Keith grunts, “I can’t believe you just let him take Shiro.”

“I didn’t just-” Adam feels like crying out in frustration. But that just wasn’t him. That wasn’t how he did things no matter how much he really wanted to. He was an adult- not some reckless teenager with a do or die attitude. He had fucking taxes to pay and ass to kick and he had to be responsible.  

No matter how immature Caleb was being, he’d just have to discuss it with him later.

“Look, I want to catch up with Takashi. I want to hear about everything that’s happened, but maybe it’s better if we just leave each other alone for now.” Adam didn’t want to say that Caleb was right, because he wasn’t. But what could he do?

“You guys are terrible.” Keith groans, crossing his arms, “I can’t believe your bullshit.”

“Watch your mouth, mister.” Adam scolds, picking up his things from the long, sleek table before him. “Now come on, I’ve got questions to ask you.”

Keith frowns, his posture stiffens a little from nervousness. “Look, Lance and I are just friends-”

Adam quirks his eyebrows, “I meant questions about the assignment, casanova, cool your jets.” 

Keith goes red but he followed Adam as he moved out the door.

 

Shiro, as he made his way down the hallway, learned a fair few things about Adam’s new boyfriend. None of which, were verbally exchanged.

  1. He’d gotten his ears pierced at one point, but he’d neglected them and they’d begun to close over, 
  2. He definitely straightens his hair
  3. He had a tattoo on the back of his neck that rose up to the nape like a spindling vine.
  4. He wore contacts
  5. He didn’t seem very talkative.



The last point never fazed Takashi. After all, Keith was essentially a mute half the time when he was a kid- quiet he could deal with. 

It was the clenched fists that made Shiro feel a slight unease growing in the pit of his stomach.

The worst thing was was that he didn’t know how to help.

“So uh…” Shiro begins, scratching the back of his head. “What do you-”

“Let’s get some things straight.” Caleb said, his voice harsh. He stops very suddenly in a darkened corridor and Shiro nearly runs into his back. “I don’t like you and I’m sure you don’t like me. But Adam’s mine and if you don’t back off, we’re going to have some serious issues.”

Takashi’s eyes widen.

Ah. 

It was all making sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro can't throw hands bc he only has one (1) hand rn


	14. Charon

Shiro was at a loss on what to say. How the fuck does one even reply to something as confrontational as that? He’d fought alien dictators and evil robots- but this, this was unknown territory that he never wanted to know. Adam, after all, was his first ever boyfriend. They’d been together since they were _teenagers_ \- something as trivial as a jealous confrontation had never even occurred to him. But here he was, after all this time. It was ridiculous, especially at this age...

Takashi was thinking like an old man, despite only being in his twenties still. Looking at Caleb now, he could tell the man was entirely serious. He was downright _glaring_ at Shiro.

Shiro wasn’t afraid- more so just shocked that _this_ was the reason Caleb hadn’t seemed to enjoy his presence. Takashi thought it was because he didn’t put sugar in his coffee or something.

“I didn’t know you felt this way, Caleb. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable-”

“Don’t give me that!” Caleb scowls, wow this guy was a nasty rendition of the laid back man he’d been introduced to yesterday. “I can’t stand people like you, always playing the nice guy.”

Takashi furrows his eyebrows, “are you worried that I’ll take Adam from you?”

Caleb must take it as a threat, because his eyes darken even further, he takes a step forward- backing Takashi into the corner.

“Woah! Woah!” Shiro puts his hand up in a placating gesture, really not looking to start a brawl this early in the morning on his first day back on Earth. It really wouldn’t look good at all. “I understand that you’re mad. But if you let me speak, we can try and work this through.”

Caleb rolls his eyes, “start talking,” he grits, the words passing throw his mouth like they were made of acid.

“I have to admit. When coming back to Earth, I knew that I wanted to try and fix what Adam and I had all those years ago. I didn’t anticipate that he’d-” Shiro winces, feeling stupid, “moved on. But now that I know he’s dating someone, I just want to be his friend.” Okay, maybe that wasn’t the whole truth. Maybe he was still (definitely) harbouring some unresolved… feelings for Adam that wouldn’t just _go away._ But he knew that he couldn’t just barge in and expect Adam to take him back with open arms- especially if he was already seeing someone else. That would just be an unhealthy way of thinking.

Shiro decided that even if he did love Adam romantically, he’d settle for a platonic relationship just to have him back in his life. He missed his dry humour, his intellect- he missed all their inside jokes… More than anything he missed waking up next to him, but even if he couldn’t have that, at least he’d have Adam.

Caleb huffs, “I don’t want you around him,” he says, his voice taking an oddly dangerous edge. Shiro didn’t like the fact that he’d have to spend a month around this guy, especially with him digging around in his arm. “I don’t trust your intentions.”

Good God, it was seven in the fucking morning. He really didn’t want to be dealing with this guy right now.

“Even if you don’t trust me, shouldn’t you trust Adam?”

Caleb bites his tongue, his eyes narrowing.

“Not that I would. But even if I did, don’t you trust him to push me away?”

“No.”

Yikes.

Shiro fixes him with a look that says just that.

Caleb’s glare doesn’t let up, instead, Takashi can see just the slightest hint of a smirk on his face, “he has nightmares, you know. About you.”

That stops Shiro cold.

“He pretends that everything is fine, but in the morning he always looks so tired and defeated. If you’d just stayed away I could have helped him through that. But now his nightmares are real,” he takes a step further, “in the flesh.”

Takashi feels the guilt beginning to pool in his chest. He’d noticed the dark circles around Adam’s eyes, but he’d always been a hard worker. He never anticipated that it might have had something to do with him. “I-”

“If you don’t want to make it worse, you should keep your distance. You don’t want to hurt him even more than you already have, right?”

“No, I-”

“Great!” Caleb smiles, it’s genuine and so much more terrifying than the mean look he’d been sporting beforehand. “So we’re in agreement. Stay the fuck away from him and no one will get hurt.” He said all of this with a cheery expression on his face. His eyes did not share the same sentiment.

Takashi was frightened of two things; The first, was losing everyone he cared about. The second, was cookie monster from Sesame Street.

Caleb was neither of them.

“I already told you I’m not pursuing your boyfriend romantically, so I don’t get your need to threaten me.”

“Didn’t you hear what I just said? You’re making things worse by being near him.”

Shiro is the one that steps forward this time. He did no harm- but he most certainly did not take no shit either. This was really getting on his nerves. “With all due respect. I’m not sure I trust your authority.” Takashi isn’t the type to glare, nor is he the type to smirk callously- so his expression remains as neutral as possible, no matter how much his lip wanted to twitch. This guy was completely disrespecting Adam by controlling him like this. “Since you want to keep Adam on a leash like a poodle, or something, I have to say your relationship isn’t the most… perceptive.”

Caleb’s hands are balled into fists at his sides, Shiro can see them beginning to shake.“Well at least I didn’t leave him to go fight space monsters.” He mocks, the cruelest look in his eyes.

Shiro purses his lips, not being able to comprehend a retort. He _was_ right after all. He did choose to leave Adam. His desperate, dying wish was one that- Shiro could now admit was selfish, but it wasn’t something he wanted to take back.

Shiro narrows his eyes, “you wouldn’t even be here if I hadn’t.”

That seemed to be the breaking point for Caleb- he definitely didn’t seem like he was the type to compose himself before acting rashly. Judging by, well, every decision Shiro had seen him make. Caleb’s arm is no longer at his side, shaking in silent fury. It’s coming full steam ahead toward Shiro’s face.

He manages to land one hit on Takashi, mainly just because the paladin wanted to see if he actually had the courage to do it.

He wasn’t afraid, at the very least he had that going for him.

The blow didn’t necessarily hurt. Especially after the endless hours of torture Shiro had gone through, all the pain- he’d fucking _died-_ this was nothing.

Shiro catches his arm before he throws another punch. The side of his face that had been hit had just begun humming with a bit of heat. God, he felt kind of badass right now- Takashi made sure to hardly flinch when Caleb had punched him.

Takashi holds Caleb’s wrist in his one hand’s grasps, tightening it ever so slightly just so he could feel the pressure of his strength. “You might want to rethink this… If you were ever thinking in the first place.”

Caleb, of course, does not listen. He uses his extra limb advantage over Shiro to try and get another punch in.

Takashi, having grown accustomed to having another arm, panics for a second before deciding, fuck it, what were they going to do? Arrest him?

He headbutts Caleb right as he’s coming for him and knocks him the fuck out. The guy goes down like a pile of bricks right in front of Shiro.

 

Takashi is left standing there, in the darkened corridor, looking at the slumped body of his old ex-boyfriend’s  new asshole boyfriend.

“Well, shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile...  
> adam, pouring a glass of wine at eight in the morning; okay, im ready this time,,, tell me how the lions work again  
> keith; ok so they're like, powered by friendship-  
> adam, downing the glass in one go; mhmmm


	15. Proteus

Adam liked to think he was a rational person. He was logical, sensible- a little bit of a petty bitch but who wasn’t? What he was trying to say was that he tried not to give into his instincts most of the time. Mainly because sometimes those instincts were fuelled by negative emotion, sometimes those instincts were inherently wrong. They curled up inside of Adam like a compelling voice, whispering for him to follow. But he usually didn’t, because he knew that the trail that it would lead him down would be pricked with thorns and trickery all along. 

Takashi was the opposite. Instinct was practically his middle name. That wasn’t saying he wasn’t logical or even rational per see, it just meant that under the veil of his gut feeling- it was all for naught. That’s what took him away from Adam the first time, instinct over logic. It was perhaps, the main fault in what was- and always would be, the most bittersweet relationship of Adam’s young life. 

When Takashi returned back to Earth, those hours Adam had spent together with him had been like a window into his soul. Adam could see in those dark eyes of his that, perhaps, he’d learned to not only trust his instincts- but also that patience yielded focus and that a logical mind would prevail in high pressure situations. 

“Hey uhh… Adam? Shiro may have knocked out your boyfriend.”

Oh for fuck’s sake, nevermind.

 

Shiro’s initial reaction to knocking Caleb out had been, embarrassingly, triumph. It felt  _ good  _ hitting back, that was just human nature.

But the moments after, in which he looked at Adam’s boyfriend, sprawled out onto the ground- almost as if in sleep. He felt a twisting shame rise in his chest. This was not the right way to deal with this situation. They were both adults- and even though Caleb had provoked him, threatened him and struck first. Shiro thinks he could have behaved better. For Adam at least.

That’s why he’s back in the infirmary, almost like he’d never left. Except this time, he wasn’t the patient.

He unceremoniously dumps Caleb onto the nearest cot he sees- with one arm no less. 

“Back so soon, Shirogane?” The doctor that had last discharged him asks, a questioning eyebrow raised toward the unconscious figure slumped in one of his beds.

“Something like that…” Takashi scratches his face awkwardly. He still wasn’t fully trustworthy of doctors, especially after the first time he’d come back after Kerberos. “Didn’t think I’d be back here so soon...” 

The other man sighs, bringing a notepad out from his white coat. Stepping closer to inspect Caleb, he lifts his chin up ever so slightly before looking him over. “He should be awake within the hour. I take it this is your doing?”

Shiro scratches the back of his head, he wasn’t going to deny that. After all, he may feel guilty about knocking Caleb the fuck out- but he didn’t necessarily regret it all that much. It was weird. “You mind calling someone to come get him? I, uh, know his boyfriend.” 

God, maybe Shiro really did have a death wish.

 

“Ten minutes, Takashi. You were alone with him for  _ ten minutes _ and you knocked him out.” Adam frowns, oh Shiro really hated that frown. It was definitely one of those expressions that screamed ‘not mad, just disappointed’ and it was  _ awful.  _

“I know, Adam, I really am sorry.” 

He sighs, “no, I-” Adam pauses to adjust his glasses, pinching his nose. “I need to hear the whole story before I start chewing you out.” Crossing his arms, he paces the room, peering over at Caleb. “It’s only fair.” 

“You’re taking this surprisingly well.” 

“Unlike you two, I’m an adult.” Adam expresses, he looked pissed- but he was, indeed, keeping his cool. Which Shiro respected. Adam had always been a lot more logical when it came to emotion. 

“I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Hmm yeah, but it still did.” 

Shiro looks at his knees, “I just… I really hated how he was talking about you. It was like you were a prized object, not a person.” 

“Look, Takashi. That’s not your battle to face. I plan on dealing with this because it’s  _ my  _ problem. You don’t need to protect me.”

Shiro frowns, feeling a bitter sense of hypocrisy rising from within. That wasn’t fair. “I remember telling you the exact same thing when I brought up the Kerberos mission. You didn’t want to listen either.” 

Adam’s eyes grow ever so cold. “You’re comparing a petty,  _ childish  _ squabble, to  _ you  _ knowing with absolutely certainty that you were  _ dying-  _ and then leaving me with that knowledge alone while you… while you went on one last ego trip?”

“It was important to me!” Shiro cries.

“Well you were important to me!” Adam shouts back, his back tense and stiff with all the emotion he’d kept pent up until now. They couldn’t just forget the past. Not when he saw every inch of it written on Takashi’s face. 

He takes a step forward, closer to Shiro. His voice far quieter. “The worst part was that I knew I’d never change your mind...” 

“Adam...”

“I know it’s selfish. It was really terrible of me to have you choose between me or the job you loved so much but…” Adam can’t help but close the distance between the two of them. He needed Takashi to see what he was feeling. “I still wish you’d chosen me.” 

Shiro’s eyes soften ever so slightly, he didn’t break eye contact. Adam had always loved that about him, how earnest his expression always was. “It wasn’t a matter of choosing you or the mission. I- I just knew I couldn’t stay.” 

“Why not?!”

“Because if I stayed, your last memory of me would be sick and dying- hooked up to tubes and machines. I couldn’t stand that thought… Call it pride of hubris of whatever, but I wanted you to always think of me as the impulsive, self sacrificial crazy man you fell in love with.”

“Oh, Takashi.” Adam feels a well of emotion brimming in his chest. “You’re still an idiot but… God, I just wished you’d’ve told me that.” Adam doesn’t cry, he isn’t a crier. Instead he feels his cheeks get hot and he finds it hard for his eyes to focus properly. 

Shiro closes the remaining, aching distance between them. Their faces are so close to each other. It reminds Adam of so many instances of the past, those close shared moments of intimacy that always managed to snatch his breath. “You still wouldn’t have let me go.” 

“You’re right.” 

Their faces are nearly touching, their lips almost brushing. So close yet so far. 

It wouldn’t matter. They could be moons apart and still be as close to breaking this melancholy distance. 

At the last minute, Adam feels himself turning away. Resentment welling in his chest like bubbling magma. “We can’t.”

“I know,” Shiro whispers. 

 

It was a moment that was as sweet as honey and as bitter as the feeling of a bee sting. 

All sugar until it stung. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith; so, shiro,,,, what did u do in the astral plane  
> shiro, thinking about his perfected dance routine to tainted love (1981); uhh
> 
> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


	16. Oberon

Shiro and Caleb’s scuffle really set things in motion for the Paladin’s first month back on Earth. Everyone is argumentative and the Garrison are hardly as cooperative as they really ought to be. But at the very least, Shiro's got a second arm again. It was similar to the Galran tech he'd originally had but sleeker- it didn't bring up bad memories. 

Keith, most of all, is frustrated by this- and nearly takes out Iverson again.

To Adam’s surprise (and pride,) though, he keeps his cool (somewhat) and simply clenches his fists at his sides and argues his case verbally.

Adam was never one to want to increase tension, but at this point he wanted to punch Iverson as well. The situation was utterly strenuous and entirely uncomfortable- as if one were in a sauna with a rising temperature.

Naturally, Shiro is assigned to another officer to investigate him, but it isn’t Adam. He thinks that might be for the best- but it doesn’t stop the sting in his chest from lingering. Caleb and Adam hadn’t even _officially_ talked since Adam came to check in on him in the med bay. It was a strange sort of limbo they’d been left in. Adam knew he couldn’t exactly blame Shiro for his new relationship’s shortcomings, but by God did he really want an outlet. He wanted _something, anything._

Caleb and he had both been avoiding each other like the plague, and even though Adam desperately wants to yell at him for so, so many things. At this point, he would prefer silence over any reply he wanted to give him.

That is how it stays for the working week in the Garrison. Adam labours, he argues, every night he falls into an exhausted dreamless sleep alone that fondly reminds him of the days when that were the norm. Now it just felt wrong.

As the weekend drew closer and the foreboding knowledge that he’d have _free time_ became prevalent, well, that’s what had Adam biting his lip. That meant he had time to think, time to overthink. And that was something that never ended up well.

That’s why he’s almost thankful to hear a knock at the door. Key word being ‘almost.’ Adam deduced that the probability of the knocker being someone he actually wanted to see was dwindling faster every single day.

And Adam was always right.

 

Caleb stands at his doorstep, his black eye fading to more of a sickly yellow now. He looked like he’d been losing sleep- losing something… His mind? Probably.

“What do you want?” Adam’s neutral expression sours into a frown. He crosses his arms and leans in front of the door frame, making it be known that the man at the door could very much not enter his space.

Adam always used to liken Caleb’s eyes to the colour of the ivy growing on the wall by his grandfather’s house. A greenish-brown colour that was calming and reminiscent. Now Adam could only see a daunting forest that he was reluctant to even look back at let alone explore. Green always was the colour of jealousy, he supposed.

“I want to talk.” Caleb replies, he hardly ever smiled in Adam’s presence anymore, this was no exception. He’d seen him in passing, talking to colleagues, the usual goofy smile that Adam found charming on his face. It left a swirl of discontent within Adam. He found it unsettling, the way he could simply switch personas depending on whom he was with.

“Whatever you have to say. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Can I just come in for a _second._ If you don’t want to speak to me after, it’s… it’s fine.” Caleb looks to the floor, downtrodden and tired. Just like Adam felt on the inside. He feels his empathy curl up against his heart and prick his chest like a thorn. Adam was too tired to turn away a kicked puppy.

He moves from the door frame, “fine.”

Caleb walks in- well, he stumbled in. Ah, Adam couldn’t smell the alcohol on his breath before- but it’s prevalent when he walks past him. He wasn’t drunk, but there was definitely enough in his system for it to alter his usual self.

“You’ve been drinking.” Adam says, closing the door after him- but not locking it. Call it apprehension, but he wanted the chance to make a hasty exit just in case.

“Only way I could’ve gotten the balls to come talk to you.” Caleb answered, moving his way around Adam’s compartment. Almost like he was psyching himself up.

“Well. Out with it.”

“I’m sorry that you think I’m being controlling. I… I just can’t trust Shirogane around you. He’s too dangerous. I just… I just want things to go back to normal.”

Adam doesn’t neglect to notice that his apology is as hollow as a rotting tree. Adam had been around some manipulative assholes in his life, he could tell very well if a person meant their ‘sorrys’ or not. If it started with ‘I’m sorry that _you_ think-’ it was a definite bad start.

“It doesn’t matter if we’re dating or just friends, Caleb, you have no right controlling who I choose to reconnect with or befriend. Especially with no valid basis. Takashi and I’s relationship happened in the past, and I loved him very dearly, yes. But it is the past.”

Adam isn’t even sure why he’s saying all of this again. He felt like a broken record. Perhaps it was just some idiotic sense of pride, in which he couldn’t just slither back to Takashi, no matter how much it felt like he wanted to. He didn’t want Takashi to win, even if he wasn’t playing the game. They broke up for a reason, even if they did still love each other. That wouldn’t change now that he’s back. It couldn’t. It was too detrimental to the pair of them.

“But HE obviously doesn’t know that!” Caleb replies, his voice rising ever so slightly. Oh, how Adam loathed yelling, it displayed a sense of emotional disarray that would only result in further chaos.

“Well, neither do you.” Adam retorts, making sure to keep his distance. Intoxicated and enraged was never a good mix. He had the faintest memories of Takashi’s mother- from back when they were in high school… _Takashi’s tensed muscles, ready to take Adam and run at any moment._

“ _You’re_ mine.” Caleb breathes, perhaps he was a lot drunker than Adam anticipated. He had always been one to hold his liquor quite well- if he were actually inebriated, it would have taken a lot.

“Caleb, I’d like you to leave.” Adam declares, “I didn’t realise how drunk you were. We can talk about this when you’re sober.”  
“No!” He yells, “I’m not leaving until you promise me you’ll never see Shirogane again!”

“I can’t promise that,” Adam replies pragmatically, “we live and work in the same space.”

Caleb inches closer, prowling and predatory and it sends a wave of unease Adam’s way. Adam was a teacher, a pilot- he worked the operating systems at control. His combat training had grown rusty and unused for some time. It didn’t mean he couldn’t protect himself- it just meant he was a little more uncomfortable with physical confrontation.

Caleb’s expression only grows further clouded with anger. “You are going to promise me you won’t see him again.”

Adam has his pride, he has a whole lot of it, in fact. “No.”

It tips Caleb over the edge, flicks a switch in his mind that sends him from piteous drunk to angry drunk. He lunges toward where Adam was standing with great speed. He had the power of surprise over Adam, whom didn’t have any time to dodge and is instantly pinned against the wall.

This wouldn’t end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caleb; adam, im sorry cant we talk about this??? :'(  
> adam; read 8:16 am  
> caleb; ...  
> caleb; this is a verbal conversation


	17. Nereid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse

Shiro’s been fiddling with the spoon in his dinner for a matter of fifteen minutes, and at this point- it was really grating on Keith’s nerves. The subtle little  _ clinks  _ of the metal on the porcelain bowl were just loud enough to be audible- and were therefore, loud enough to irritate him.

He’s about to say something but Lance beat him to it- and much more politely if Keith were to begrudgingly admit.

“What’s up, Shiro?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. His own spoon being used to wave around like a wand. 

Was Keith the only one that utilised utensils for their intended use? He can’t help but glare at both of his dinner patrons now.

The three of them were all eating in the cafeteria while the rest of their ‘squad’ were off running tests, being tested or something in between it. It was really taking a lot out of all of team Voltron, and it was showing; Pidge was running on even less sleep than usual, Lance’s smiles were a little more strained, Hunk’s enthusiasm for cooking with Earth ingredients had dulled to a polite thrum, and Shiro, most of all, looked much worse for wear. 

But Keith suspects it’s not the workload that has him down.  

He wishes that returning to Earth had been a quick fix-it- that everything would go back to normal and everyone would be content. 

But that just wasn’t the case, and to make it worse they hadn’t even been allowed  _ home-  _ in fact, they’d been confined to the garrison premises.It meant that even though they’d all seen their loved ones (or lack thereof,) they still weren’t completely fulfilled. 

Keith would forever curse Earth’s desperate need to cover up the unusual- and despite him not having anything to go home to (besides a few sparse possessions and a broken family) he still missed the freedom of going out into the desert and just… driving.

“It’s nothing.” Shiro replies, stirring his food even slower now. 

Keith purses his lips, “you aren’t feeling bad for punching Caleb, are you?” 

Lance huffs out a laugh, plonking his spoon down on the table. “You can’t feel guilty for that! It sounded fucking awesome!” 

Takashi’s frown only deepens, he didn’t seem to agree. “I’m worried I might have ruined their relationship.”

Keith rolls his eyes, Shiro was so deep into his hero complex sometimes that it blinded him to reality. “if your mere  _ presence  _ is enough to rock the boat- it wasn’t strong enough to survive anyway. You said yourself, Caleb isn’t treating Adam like a human being.”

“Besides, if you really do feel  _ that  _ bad about it, just go and apologise.” Lance adds, probably a little more helpful than Keith’s rather _ bleak  _ outlook on Adams romantic endeavours. 

Not wanting to be outdone by fucking  _ Lance _ , Keith clears his throat in hope of coaxing an epiphany out of himself. “I know things between you guys are… different from before. But I think you both need each other right now.” 

Close enough.

 

“Caleb, back off, you’re making me uncomfortable.” Adam bites, not at all hiding his anger at being cornered like this. It made him feel weak and  _ useless-  _ and entirely infuriated.

“Why are you being so difficult?” Caleb grits not budging. He was a looming presence in Adam’s personal space and it was very much NOT appreciated. He could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Just answer me, then I’ll let you go.”

“Are you threatening me right now?”

Caleb’s face screws up in the beginning remnants of full blown rage. “You used to be so… special Adam, what did he do to you?”

Adam frowns, feeling boiling hot incredulity light up his insides. He couldn’t believe the sheer audacity of this man. 

“I’m the same as I always have been, Caleb.  _ You’re  _ the one that changes at the drop of a hat.” 

“Well it’s  _ your  _ fault I’m behaving like this.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you weren’t such a promiscuous  _ liar,  _ that was sleeping with every man you saw-  _ I  _ wouldn’t have to be like this.” 

Adam’s eyebrows may as well be caught in his hair, he couldn’t raise them any higher. Good god this was utterly ridiculous. Caleb’s paranoia, his jealousy, had grown to new heights. Damaging, damning heights. Like Icarus and the sun- he’d flown far too close and was now about to be flared. 

“Just because you’re  _ jealous  _ of Takashi- you get to insinuate that I’m… That I’m...” He’s too angry to even finish his sentence. Adam prided himself on being composed most of the time- but this situation was getting out of hand. “Caleb, you’re delusional. I am a lot of things, but adulterous isn’t one of them. It’s why  _ I  _ pulled away in the hospital. It’s why  _ I  _ agreed to your paranoia induced request to avoid one of my  _ dearest  _ friends in this world… I know now that, even if I’m not a cheater- I am an idiot, for ever thinking that this relationship was going anywhere but up in flames.” Adam grabs Caleb’s wrist from by his head and yanks it forward to give him some leeway to move away from his hold. He opens up his door wide and gestures out into the hallway, “get the fuck out and don’t come back.” 

Caleb doesn’t move an inch, only huffing in anger. His eyes were clearing ever so slightly- showing signs of mild sobriety, but there was still an air of unconsciousness about him. Nevertheless, an intoxicated mind, Adam believed, just spoke the truths that a sober one couldn’t.

“I wish Shirogane had really died in space. You wouldn’t be so fucking crazy if he did.” 

Adam’s eyes grow dangerously cold, “what did you just say?” 

Caleb steps closer, not a hint of fear in his numbed expression. That was infuriating. “You heard me.” He makes a move toward the door- a fake-out maneuver that Adam doesn’t quite anticipate. Drunk people were unpredictable, that’s what made them dangerous. 

He has his hands around Adam’s neck within a moment after that, the force causing the pair of them to collapse onto the ground beneath them. Caleb doesn’t relinquish his hold on Adam though- squeezing and squeezing harder and harder until Adam can see little spots in his vision. He feels a few tears leak out of his eyes from the exertion. 

_ ‘Oh are you fucking kidding me.’  _ Adam can’t help but think.  _ ‘I try and date ONE person after Takashi and they turn out to be an absolute dickhead nitwit two-faced bastard with a penchant for alcohol and abuse. Cool cool cooooool.’  _ Adam starts grasping at Caleb’s hands around his neck, but. like a vice grip- it was immovable with simple human strength.

Adam was a prideful man. He hated to admit when he was wrong. For some reason he wanted to show Shiro that he could be happy without him. Perhaps he was still bitter about him leaving for Kerberos. 

That just wasn’t healthy.

And this- this definitely wasn’t either. 

Adam moves one of his arms out from Caleb’s leg while he’s concentrated on his neck, and with one last burst of strength, arches up his fist and punches the man square in the nose. 

He falls back from Adam’s neck to give him a breath of air that was so desperately needed. He takes a large exhale, gasping for the oxygen he’d been so desperately deprived of. He feels his free hand lift up to touch his throat- undoubtedly an angry red colour as he coughs and sputters, trying to regain some semblance of  _ breathing _ . 

“How… Dare…  _ You…”  _ His efforts were all for naught however, as Caleb returns with a vengeance, still pinning him down on his right side. The adrenaline had kept him sentient- wiping the blood off his newly injured nose, he rears back and returns the blow, tenfold in strength. Tenfold in anger fuelled strength. 

Adam is still dazed from the attempted suffocation and gets the full brunt of it, the brutal sting of the punch elicits a pained gasp from him but nothing more. He wouldn’t give this bastard the satisfaction. 

As his consciousness begins to blur and his eyes welcome the darkness, he can only hope for a possible knight in shining armour. Because this time, due to the most unfair circumstances, he wasn’t enough. 

The odds had been stacked against him, and, like the prideful imbecile he felt he was at that moment- he tempted the pile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keiths got the snipers on this bitch as we speAK


	18. Styx

Takashi’s steps to Adam’s compartment are anxious and slow- like he were trying to delay the inevitable. Which was, most definitely, getting a door slammed shut in his face.

He couldn’t deny the fact that he  _ was  _ going to kiss Adam back in the hospital.

He would be lying if he did.

For just the briefest of moments, Takashi had forgotten utterly all of his morals that he’d kept so tightly clutched at his chest. After everything, and he meant  _ everything,  _ he knew it wasn’t going to be easy coming back to Earth. But he’d never expected it to be so difficult to talk to the one person in his life he could always speak to. 

“Are you just going to stare at the door?” Keith asks him, his arms are crossed and his posture is as ‘emo teen’ as it always was. 

Shiro sighed,  _ perhaps this was a bad idea.  _ He had no intention of bothering Adam on his few days off- he was probably getting some rest- or-or something. 

“You have to knock it to get it to open.” Lance supplies helpfully from behind. Takashi isn’t entirely sure if he’s being snarky or genuinely doesn’t know if Shiro is aware of how doors work.

He kind of regrets allowing them to tag along now.

“I know it’s just-” Takashi pauses, his knuckles resting just below the peephole. “What if he never wants to see me again?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “oh for god’s sake.” He lightly shoves Shiro to the side and raps on the door- a little more forceful than Takashi would have gone. 

_ Oh God, what if Adam thought he was angry?- would he be mad if- _

“Shiro, relax.” Lance says, doing his best to placate him. His hands are moving in a gesture that Takashi supposes is supposed to be calming. It more so just looks like he’s trying to lightly push down the trash in a garbage can. Takashi appreciates the sentiment nevertheless. He gives the boy a grateful little smile.

 

The three of them wait a few minutes after Keith’s knock. There’s a definitive, cool silence that they are met with. It’s a bit uncomfortable- and honestly disappointing. 

“Is he not home?” Lance asks, his eyebrows raising at the door. 

“I swore I saw him walk in here…” Keith says, narrowing his gaze. He assesses the situation with a pessimistic eye and tests the doorknob with a certain demeanour. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” Takashi exclaims in horror- they were  _ not  _ going to be breaking into his ex-boyfriend’s apartment. That was  _ way  _ out of line- 

The door is suspiciously unlocked and Keith opens it with ease. 

Both he and Shiro share a glance. 

Okay, that was strange. Really strange.

Adam was the most careful person in the world- if he left it unlocked, he’d done it for a reason. They exchange a mutual nod before Keith moves inside. Perhaps it was their time spent as paladins, or just simple instincts- but there was something  _ off _ about this. The lull of quiet in the room was almost as if it had hastily replaced the thick tension in there with a frantic fervour. 

“ _ Shiro.”  _ Keith calls, his voice was only thinly veiled from the panic evident in his heart. 

Takashi’s in there without much more deliberation. If it had Keith worried, it was probably bad. 

Keith’s standing in front of a splattering of blood on the linoleum. It looked fresh enough for it to be concerning. 

“Shit…” Lance says, his signature smirk was devoid on his expression within a moment. He looks up and stifles a gasp, “guys, look-” he points toward the wall by the kitchen. There’s a huge dent in the wall now, spidering with cracks in the plaster. That definitely hadn’t been there before.

Something had gone on here. And it wasn’t good.

Shiro feels his heart begin to seize with straight up  _ panic  _ and this time, he thinks it to be warranted entirely. He wanted to race around all the rooms- all the places in this compound that the pair of them once shared-

No, he had to remain calm- he had to  _ think.  _

“Search the rooms, see if he’s still here. Look for any other signs of disturbances.” Shiro commands his two paladins- going full captain mode was the only way that seemed to work his nerves down to a manageable amount. Still, there’s a shake in his voice and his fist is clenched so hard it’s gone a sickly white colour. 

Lance and Keith nod at him and dart off into different rooms. 

Shiro heaves a sigh that felt like it held the weight of the world within it. He tries to keep his mind focused and not let it stray to the worst possible outcome. Perhaps Adam had just tripped and fell… Or something. 

He moves to the kitchen, feeling only a violent numbness permeating his senses. His fingertips brush the spotless countertop and he can’t help but think about all the breakfasts they’d eaten there together. All the late night baking, all the midnight expeditions for water that ended up being full blown make out sessions. His eyes trace over the tiling and the corner beside it. He finds himself completely surprised to find the picture of him and Adam in their garrison days still there. It hits him now that he hadn’t  _ really  _ been back here in years, he’d been M.I.A for hundreds of nights. And yet, Adam had kept that photo there… 

Takashi stops himself from thinking any further. He had to be patient so he could focus. His eyes were darting about, looking for something,  _ anything  _ amiss, but that wouldn’t ever be a good enough way to find anything. 

_ He had to slow down. _

His gaze finally lands on the keys to Adam’s car.

Or rather, the lack thereof.

“Shit…” 

“Shiro!” Keith calls him, his voice echoing throughout the hall. “Get over here!” 

 

Walking back into their old bedroom in this context was probably the worst thing someone could do to him. It was empty, no sign of a struggle whatsoever. But the memories that came along with this room- they were about as bad as a blow to the head. 

Keith stands when he sees him in the doorway, his face looks grave. “The ring’s gone.” 

“What ring?”

Keith sighs, impatient, “the engagement ring- The one you were going to give Adam way back? It’s gone. Along with the pistol he kept under here.” 

Shiro’s eyes widen. “I thought he would have thrown it away when I left...” 

Keith shakes his head, “he still had it last time I was here. He wouldn’t have thrown it away on a whim like that… I think it was someone else.”    
Takashi nods, “Adam’s keys were missing as well- there’s no way this was a thief. This was someone that-” his eyes widen. Someone that had a grievance against Adam. Someone that was bitter about new circumstances that had arisen. “Oh.” 

Their eyes meet, “Caleb.” 

Lance, by the door frame just raises his eyebrows, “you didn’t know that already? It’s literally ALWAYS the crazy boyfriend.” 

“Not the time, Lance.” Keith scowls before moving out the door- he grabs his hand on the way out. “Come on, we’re checking the security cameras.”   

Takashi is still standing there in disbelief, Caleb  _ loved  _ Adam- at the very least he knew that. No matter how fucked up those feelings were… Did he really do this? 

Shiro thinks back on everything he knew about Caleb with a different lens. He was possessive, hot tempered, violent- he had a manipulative streak and the ability to change his very personality if need be… If things didn’t go his way- he could get very dangerous. Not to mention Shiro had caught a glimpse of him stumbling ever so slightly through the mess hall. Throwing intoxication to the mix of this shitty situation wouldn’t provide good results at all.

Okay, yeah, there was no doubt, Caleb had done… whatever this was turning out to be. 

Keith returns to the door frame- still holding Lance’s hand. He looks over at Shiro- trying his best not to appear too worried and failing. “Are you coming?” 

Takashi nods, “let’s go.” 

Adam was strong and probably, somehow, even more stubborn than Keith was. 

He’d be okay. 

 

Shiro hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro; space is homophobic  
> keith; ????? explain  
> shiro; im gay and i died there


	19. Hydra

“We’ll send some men after them, but we can’t grant the three of you leave from the garrison this early after your return. We’ve decided it’s too much of a risk.” Iverson’s stern face is pinched with mild discomfort- most likely worried he was going to be punched again. A valid concern. “It’s a safety issue, especially when we still haven’t finished our examination of you all in particular.” 

Keith, Shiro and Lance were all piled into the man’s office, each with varying levels of irritation and anxiety on their faces. 

After they’d cleared Adam’s entire dorm, they’d moved onto security footage; a feat in which only confirmed the culprit, and, unsurprisingly, revealed that Caleb and his (still) unconscious captive weren’t on base any longer.

The three of them were about to jump in the nearest car and drive to the ends of the fucking earth to go after him when Iverson had stopped them in their tracks- getting a report from dozens of people about the three-person havoc trail they’d left behind. 

Shiro was bouncing his legs up and down with an anxious kind of fervour, not really listening to anything Iverson said. Aside from, of course, the section of words in which this man told him he  _ couldn’t  _ leave and go save Adam- all the while wasting the precious seconds they had.

It was only furthering the irrational side of his psyche, the side telling him to  _ go, go, go _ . He’d been told to never feed it- to never give into it... 

But at this moment, it was the only thing he could think about. 

“This is bullshit!” Keith is up in an instant- his trigger into action being, of course, told that he couldn’t do what he wanted to. 

His fire had dulled a little with maturity- but he was still the same old hot headed Keith at heart. Shiro couldn’t even stop him- because he was right. 

This  _ was  _ bullshit.

“Control yourself, Cadet.” Iverson says, his voice level but bordering on angry as well. He looks at Takashi, perhaps expecting him to ask Keith to calm down. 

No, actually it was quite the opposite. 

Shiro stands, his expression a mask of calm but his heart feeling all but. 

He looks Iverson in the eye and speaks with a dangerous kind of quiet. Every moment they spent arguing like this was another moment Adam could be getting hurt- or- or worse. He wasn’t exactly going to be jovial, not when he was tearing himself apart on the inside.

“With all due respect, Commander, we’re going to do this whether you like it or not.” 

Upon hearing such a forward statement from the fucking captain america of space- Iverson stutters in surprise, “Shirogane, I thought you had more common sense than this.”

Perhaps some time ago this would have been less of a surprise. Perhaps when Takashi had been young and angry- filled with potential and a quick fuse. 

Shiro purses his lips and furrows his brow, but that was a long time ago.

“If common sense was really in this equation we wouldn’t be holding _ space lions _ in our hangers, Sir. Now if you’ll excuse me-” Takashi moves toward the door with haste- not wanting to lose anymore time. 

He really didn’t care anymore about what Iverson had to say. It didn’t matter. He was going.

After everything that had happened to him- if he couldn’t at the very least save the man he still loved- well, it meant nothing. 

“Shirogane. If you go against my orders, there  _ will  _ be serious repercussions.” 

Keith huffs at the commander, grabbing Lance with him as he rose. His gaze is as defiant as it was the night he was indefinitely suspended. “What are you going to do? Expel half of team Voltron from the Garrison?”  

“Watch your tone, Cadet. Your disrespectful attitude was what got you kicked out the first time.” 

Keith glared at him, already readying himself quickly for a haughty reply when Lance speaks up instead- a little shaky but otherwise completely confident.

“Eat a dick, Iverson. We got gay shit to do.”

That worked as well.

Keith looks at Lance with surprise on his features before he composed himself again, the pair of them following Shiro out the door without so much as a glance back at the commander they’d left flabbergasted in his own office.

 

The opposition, however does not refrain after Iverson. 

As they reach the barracks where the sanctioned vehicles are all kept- they’re once again, frustratingly, stopped- this time by a great glaring spotlight that has all three of them shielding their eyes. 

Shiro winces, holding up his arm to allow himself to adjust a little easier. Whatever this was- he had no intention of letting it stop him. It could be fucking Zarkon rising from alien hell and he’d still be hot footing it into the desert.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A voice asks them, Shiro’s not all that sure who it belonged to- but Keith most assuredly did. The former red paladin makes a tiny little grunt of surprise that Takashi’s certain he’d tried to disguise. 

He moves a little closer to the source of the light- trying to pick out some facial features. 

“Griffin?” 

Ah, that name definitely rung a bell. Shiro could dimly remember it- Years and years ago. A smug smile- a childishly freckled face… He was a talented kid- perhaps a bit too good at brown nosing for Shiro’s liking, but overall not too terrible.

Well, as far as he knew.

Looking at James Griffin now- all of that was gone. He was frowning at the three of them- but mostly just Keith. 

At least that hadn’t changed.

“That’s  _ officer _ Griffin to you now, Kogane,” he says, jumping down from the platform he had cornered them on. 

“Whatever.” Keith bites back, “what are you even doing here?” This obviously was not a positive reunion. “Did they finally realise everyone could fly circles around you and transferred your sorry ass to cleaning duty instead?”

Griffin, for all the trouble he had caused them, remains surprisingly- and thankfully- rather calm.“I want to know why you’re trying to steal a garrison vehicle.” 

Shiro can tell Keith is about to reply- but with a hasty wave of his hand, he is silenced. Takashi looks at the opposer with a weary eye. He’s sure that this kid had all the right intentions- following the rules and remaining loyal. But Shiro really couldn’t deal with that right now. 

“We need the fastest one you’ve got.” 

James spares him a glance. There was no longer a childish wonder in his eyes when he saw Shiro. Takashi wonders when he’d lost that faith for him. 

There is, however, hesitation. And he could work with that.

“And what makes you think I’ll give it to you?” 

It had been a long, tiring day and Takashi knew that this was the very beginning, but he was very much on the verge of just... snapping. He musters up what he hopes is a charming smile (but it’s more terrifying than anything,) and approaches Griffin. 

“Let us go or I’m going to take the black  _ fucking  _ lion out of it’s hanger and fly there myself. I don’t care if you come with us to make sure we’re not deserting- as long as we’re all  _ gone  _ within a minute.” 

There must be something about the expression on Shiro’s face- or his extremely uncharacteristic use of cursing but James gulps- stiffening his posture. “Y-yes sir.”

Perhaps he was a bit more of a captain than he thought.

 

Lance, looking in abject horror turns to Keith- appearing almost betrayed. “I can’t believe you had  _ two  _ rivals while you were in the garrison.”

Keith looks confused, “who was the other one?”

“Me, you idiot!”

“Guys- come on, we’re going.” Shiro’s voice is calm but powerful as he motions them over. James beside him looks indignant but unwilling to move. It seemed that they would be taking another passenger with them on this trip. 

 

They set off into the desert- the three of them- plus a very reluctant looking James Griffin who was the very example of wrong place at the wrong time. 

“He’ll be okay, Shiro.” Keith tells him.

 

Takashi isn’t as sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro, pre-kerberos; adam,,, theres just one more thing i need from you  
> adam, immediately gay panicking; yeah? w-what is that?  
> shiro; can u look after my ant farm while im gone pls


	20. Deimos

“I can’t say I’m surprised you’ve resulted into petty larceny to get things done, Kogane.” James is seated at the back of the rover’s seat alongside a very unimpressed Keith- (Lance had called shotgun.)  

“You don’t even know _why_ we’re breaking the rules.” Keith says, his voice gruff and frustrated.

“It doesn’t matter- you’re breaking the rules- that’s what counts.” James replies, his arms crossed and his expression both neutral and irritated all at once.

Lance makes a noise of incredulity from the front seat, “it’s for love!”

Both James and Keith roll their eyes.

“There’s fresh tracks in the dust going North- that has to be them.” Shiro says, ignoring all of them in favour of, well, actually doing what they’d set out to do. He’d begun speeding through the desert of the garrison without so much as a ‘put your seatbelts on’ the moment they’d all gotten into the vehicle.

James makes a petulant noise, pointedly not looking at Keith- instead opting to look out the window. “Just because you’re voltron- it doesn’t mean you get a free pass out of everything. You’re going to get dismissed for this.”

“Wow, thanks, a revelation I hadn’t even considered before this, outstanding work, Griffin.” Shiro snaps, his hand on the wheel tightening- the bionic arm that the garrison had fitted him out with still felt a little unnatural- at times he’d forgotten he’d even had his other arm.

James makes a vague noise of both surprise and hurt.

Shiro sighs, “sorry- I’m a bit on edge.”

“Yeah I can tell.” James says, his voice a little more earnest when he was talking to Takashi. It really showed on his expression. “It’s Adam right? And that Caleb guy.” He frowns clenching his fists. His tongue wrapped around the men’s names uncomfortably- like he wasn’t used to not addressing them with their full titles.

“You knew them before?” Lance asks, turning his head to face James in curiosity.

“Not a lot…” James admits, “they’re both my superior officers but… Before you guys came back-” He says that last part with a bit of resentment. “I saw them around every so often, I saw Caleb with some other officers once…” Griffin bites his lip, looking hesitant to say anything, “he was talking about Adam.”

Shiro’s interest is piqued, “what did he say?”

James grimaces, “I don’t care to repeat it but… It wasn’t very respectful. When they were together it was like Adam had hung the moon for him but- it was totally different when he was alone.”

“Asshole.” Keith mutters, frowning.

“Finally something we agree on.” James nods. “It’s so weird seeing you back in a garrison uniform. The last time I saw you-”

“Don’t.”

Lance raises his eyebrows, “oh damn, now I wanna know. What did he do James? Fall on his face? Throw up in the flight simulator? Try and do a double backflip but-”  
Okay now Lance was just talking about everything _he_ did in the garrison.

“No, he was just… Uh…” James scratches the back of his head, looking uncomfortable.

Keith doesn’t even look bothered, however, instead opting to sigh. “We hooked up just before I got expelled from the garrison.”

“What?!” Shiro and Lance both exclaim.

Keith shrugs, “he’s a gigantic asshole but I like his hair.”

“Oh gee, _thanks.”_ James says in return, his head in his hands. “I can’t believe you just said ‘hooked up’ in front of Shirogane.”

Keith clicks his tongue, “would you prefer I say something else?”

Lance, “got freaky? Went to funkytown? Did the dance with no pants? Participated in The Sex ™ ?”  

“Wow no I hate all of those a lot more.” Shiro says, his nose curled up in disgust.

“I thought you’d be a lot more freaked out.” Keith admits, his gaze flitting to Lance- looking a little sheepish.

Lance waves it off, “the past is the past, right? I don’t care who you did in the past- as long as you’re doing me in the future.” He finishes it off with a prompt wink before realising exactly three seconds after he’d finished speaking that he’d actually said that shit _out loud._

There’s an awkward silence crossing amongst the car and Shiro sighs- long and tired. “Can you guys just… Not? Now really isn’t the time for romantic revelations.”

Lance still looks like his soul has flitted from his body but he shakes it off with the ease Shiro has come to know comes naturally to the sharpshooter. “Uh yeah… We have a mission to do!”

“Hmm yes.” Keith replies, “what’s it look like, Shiro?”

Takashi sets his jaw, “not great. I think the terrain’s a bit different this far out from the garrison. There’s no more tire prints to follow.”

“Shit.” Keith mutters.

“What’s that?” Lance points at the small object, covered ever so slightly with the desert dust.

They’re all out of there in an instant.

Shiro makes it there first, picking up the item with a wavering hope that it would be something of use. Dusting it off with his flesh hand, he lets out a small gasp.

“Adam’s holopad?” Keith raises an eyebrow.

Shiro holds it in his hands like it holds all the secrets in the universe. “You guys check the surroundings to see if there’s anything else.”

Perhaps Adam had thrown it out of the window hoping Shiro would come and see it. Maybe he’d left a message detailing where he thought he was going to be taken, maybe-

Shiro’s stops cold in his thoughts.

It hadn’t been Adam that had thrown it. He was sure of that now.

But there was a message.

 

**_SHIROGANE ,_ **

 

**_I KNOW YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME, I'M NOT STUPID._ **

**_YOU SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE A HINT OF REASON WITHIN YOU- WE CAN MAKE A COMPROMISE_ **

**_MEET ME HERE ALONE_ **

****

Shakily, Shiro touches at the map that had been attached with the cryptic message. James, Keith and Lance were about ten metres off, still looking in the dust for anymore clues.

He looks back at the message.

 

Alone.

 

Sparing a glance at the three he’d come with and an apology for later- if he came back.

He hops back into the car and races off into the darkening horizon.

Caleb knew that they’d catch him eventually- perhaps that was even what he’d wanted. So this was his next step.

Even if it was a trap- Shiro had to try.

 

Perhaps patience did yield focus- but right now the only thing he could think about was Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only other time Adam seriously thought about breaking up w/ shiro was when he opened a kitkat and just took a fucking bite out of it
> 
>  
> 
> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


	21. Dysnomia

Adam was never typically one for melodrama.

Which, he supposes, is why he hates this situation right now. 

Not the whole ‘kidnapping’ thing- that was bullshit, sure. But the whole race against time to rescue him? The ultimatum Caleb had definitely just given Takashi? The literal gun Caleb had trained on him? 

It was stupid as hell. 

“I have work to do, Caleb. Let me go.” Adam says, his head still ringing a little bit from the blow. It was nothing he couldn’t handle though. “You’re in way over your head, you crazy asshole.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Caleb says, his once teasing voice turning venomous. It was crazy how much he could change depending on the situation.  

“Do you really think that if you kill Takashi I’ll want to be with you?” Adam continues, feeling entirely infuriated and hopeless with his arms bound- the best thing he could do was give this bastard what he deserved- verbally at least. Ever since he’d come to- he’d been thinking about a way to get the fuck out of here. 

But now that Takashi,  _ the idiot _ , was coming to ‘rescue’ him, it was all for naught. He couldn’t just leave now because he had to make sure his dumbass got out of here as well.

If he didn’t Adam didn’t know what he’d do. 

Caleb’s smile is a bit unnerving- even to Adam. He approaches like a wild animal circles on its prey, slow and stalking from across the shanty room they resided in. They were definitely still in the desert- Adam was at least sure of that aspect. He could see the caramel tinged sand dusting through the crack on the bottom of the door.

Caleb expression is cruel and unhinged- but not entirely devoid of the amusement in his eyes that had once let Adam feel at ease.

“And what makes you think you’d have a choice?”

Oh.

Adam desperately tries to not let the other man know that that had just sent a cold shiver right down his spine. 

Just how long had Caleb been thinking about doing this? When he’d said he’d needed alcohol to get up the nerve- it hadn’t been to just beg for forgiveness, had it? 

“You’re not going to win.” Adam grits. 

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Caleb tells him, holding up the pistol he’d stolen from Adam’s room like it were a prize. “Shirogane will be dead, just like he should have been years ago.” 

Adam is fully aware of his ex’s abilities- they’d been sparring partners for years. And though it always came close- Adam had only beat him in hand-to-hand combat a few times.“Your crazy vendetta against him is a little too cartoon-villain, don’t you think?” 

There was no way Takashi Shirogane would fall to someone like this. 

Adam just had to make sure he didn’t either. 

He had to wait it out.

Caleb huffs, mild humour enlightening his features, “you’re funny, Adam.” He says, “you were always so funny.” Caleb a lot quieter now, almost whispered. “Why did you have to ruin it?”   
Adam rolls his eyes, “oh yeah,  _ I  _ ruined it.” 

There’s a dimness in Caleb’s eyes that Adam is silently afraid of- there’s just something there that’s unsettling. 

Caleb smiles at him but it’s all wrong- it’s nothing like what it used to be. Adam felt like he’d been fooled this entire time. 

 

He raises the gun and fires. 

 

“Did… Did Shirogane just drive off without us?” James is still trying to process the scene that had just happened right in front of him.   
“Excellent observation, Griffin.” Keith replies, arms crossed. Earning a harsh glare from James a few metres away.  

“There must have been something on that holopad.” Lance says- a little more helpful. They’d been scrounging the desert for further clues but they’d come up short.

And as they all turned back to tell Takashi the regretful news, well, he’d driven off without them.

“Do you think it was a message from Adam?” Keith asks no one in particular, a worried frown on his face. 

“No.” Griffin replies, narrowing his eyes. “He wouldn’t have left us here if it was Adam.” 

“Who would it be then-” 

“It would have had to have been something more urgent- a threat.”

“Caleb.” Keith’s expression turns into one of dim shock, “he’s probably going to try and fight Shiro again.” He kicks the dirt in frustration, “that idiot, what’s he thinking?”

“Who are you talking about? Caleb or Shiro?” Lance asks him, genuinely curious.

Keith hums in thought, “I mean Shiro, because Shiro’s just an idiot, but Caleb-” he clenches his fist with an angry vigour, “he’s a dangerous idiot.” 

“Shiro’s fought him before- he can’t be that bad…” 

“He’s got a gun, Lance, remember?” 

James makes a noise of surprise, “how did he get a gun? The armoury is heavily guarded by soldiers-”

“Adam used to keep one in the cupboard by his bed.” Keith’s expression shows the slightest hint of mirth. What an irony that he’d kept it there to protect him when it would only do damage now. “I remember him having a lot of nightmares after Shiro left. He kept it in there to destroy whatever had come and supposedly killed Shiro… At least that’s what I think. He always said it was filled with blanks so he could practice his accuracy but he was never all that great at lying.”

“Shit.” 

“Yeah, shit.” 

 

The dozens and dozens of pebbles crunching underneath the tires had become a subtle thrum in Shiro’s head as he moved closer and closer to the location Caleb had provided him with. 

He hated having to play into this asshole’s trap like this. Shiro sighs, he’s sure Adam’s already lectured the man about the utterly  _ idiotic  _ theatrics he was displaying. This was beyond ridiculous- first the extreme possessiveness, next the agression- and now fucking kidnapping? 

This guy was bad news. Shiro should have known that from the get go. But he was so  _ stuck  _ on making sure he kept his own feelings in check. He wanted to make sure he didn’t cross a line with Adam- he wanted to assure himself that he was happy if Adam was happy, even if it wasn’t with him. 

Shiro just hopes he can make it in time to at least apologise.

He eases his foot on the accelerator, seeing the waypoint that had been marked on the map. A small shack resided about 100 metres away, desolate and singular in the middle of the orange sand. It wasn’t dissimilar to Keith’s little shack back before they’d found the blue lion- perhaps a little bit bigger but nevertheless.

With a deep breath, he steps out. His small squad hadn’t come particularly well prepared for a fight- the garrison had taken their bayards and Shiro had been in too much of a blind panic to pick up anything else. 

 

He’d have to try his luck again as the ‘Champion.’

It had brought him back to Adam once, and it would bring him back again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> caleb; HA ARE YOU AFRAID YET ADAM  
> adam, in his head; aruba, jamaica, oooh i wanna take y


	22. Phoebe

“Did- Did you just fucking shoot me?” Adam asks, incredulous as he gasped from the pain blossoming in his arm. “What the  _ fuck?”  _

If Shiro were here he’d definitely be making a comment on his course language, but fuck that. He just got  _ shot.  _ And it hurt like a  _ bitch.  _

“Next is the leg if you don’t keep your pretty mouth shut.” Caleb says, still pointing the pistol in his direction. He looms over him like an ominous shadow- an ominous shadow with a fucking GUN.

Perhaps Adam really ought to keep his mouth shut- self preservation and all that shit. But as the time began to dwindle along with the sun, he began to feel a strange sinking in his chest that came whenever he turned out to be incorrect. Maybe Shiro had decided not to come for him, after all. They were the very definition of ‘it’s complicated’ right now and Adam couldn’t help but feel that he’d asked far too much of the man.

For Takashi to run out alone in the desert, risking his life against some crazy asshole with a gun- all for his  _ ex.  _ Well, perhaps Adam was taking the man’s hero complex a little  _ too  _ far for it to be fair. 

After all- what self sacrificial maniac would just show up and-

 

Caleb looks out into the horizon from the window, a haunting smile blooming across his face. “Looks like your hero is here.” He says derisively, cocking the pistol with a violent vigour. 

 

Oh,  _ his  _ self sacrificial maniac.

 

“Guess that’s my ride. I should get going.” Adam replies, “wish I could stay for dinner but I have to go home and shampoo my hair.”

Caleb just looks back at him with a smirk and fires another bullet at his leg. 

 

A shot rings out from the small shack Shiro was walking toward and he feels an enormous jolt of  _ fear  _ run through his blood. 

When he was in the garrison, he’d been told to never give in to fear. Perhaps that kind of drilling was what they really wanted in soldiers- disposable militants willing to die for a cause that needn't be fought at all.

God, when had he become such a jaded old man?

He listens to his teaching nevertheless. He takes a deep, shaking breath and pursues further, faster- sprinting toward the door with suicidal speed. 

What had that shot been? Had it been Caleb? Adam? 

He gets closer and hears a groan of pain- 

Adam. No doubt about it.

 

Shiro doesn’t hesitate, he bursts through the door with a hasty fervour. 

 

Caleb stands against the back wall of the structure, holding Adam up like he were a prop- a human shield. He’s bleeding from the arm, but even more so on the leg. Aside from a grimace on his expression- the fact that he was in pain would have been near indistinguishable if Takashi didn’t know him so well.

Adam has his gaze on him, those calculating eyes awash with relief that he was trying not to betray. “Hey Takashi,” he says, “nice of you to join us.” 

“Adam…” Shiro looks at him like he were a wounded animal- despite the fact that he looked like one too.

It had only been a matter of hours but he looked like a  _ mess.  _

“You would NOT believe the day I’ve just had.” Adam continues, trying to elbow out of Caleb’s grasps. 

Caleb just presses on the wound in his arm a little harder and he cries out in pain. 

 

Shiro expression turns to the captive. A hot sense of rage welling up in his chest. The worst part being that he looked  _ satisfied,  _ like he’d won some kind of competition that they were fighting against.

Caleb looked positively unhinged- but also pridefully smug. 

Shiro hadn’t felt anger like this for the longest of times, it was burning and rising up from within him. He’d battled hundreds of alien enemies, rebelled against tyrannical civilisations left and right, fought in a fucking space war... 

But this-

This was what fired him up the most. 

“Let him go.” He bites his, vision blurry with emotion. 

Caleb has the good grace to hesitate, looking at his expression with just the slightest tinge of fear before he composes himself once more. He smiles, crooked and wicked before cocking the pistol before Takashi. “I don’t think so.” 

Shiro takes a step forward looking into the eye of the gun like it were made of plastic. 

Caleb raises an eyebrow, “I should have known. No self preservation.” He sighs, turning it back on Adam- placing the barrel directly at his head. 

Adam’s gone quiet now, his bullet wounds still freely leaking out of him in small rivulets. He was losing a lot of blood, Shiro could tell that now just by getting a closer look at his face. That of which had gone a sickly grey colour.

They didn’t have a lot of time. 

“You said you wanted to compromise.” Takashi says, trying his best to keep his mind off of that burning,  _ scalding  _ fact. “Let’s compromise.” 

“Ah, yes.” Caleb says, if reminded of his own words. “I’ll let Adam go. If-”

Shiro raises his eyebrows. 

“I can fight you.”

“I’ve beaten you before, Caleb. What makes you think you can win against me this time?”

Caleb tsks, waving the pistol around like it were an accessory. “I have leverage now.”  

Shiro squints, “you want me to fight you, unarmed, while you have a gun.” 

“Take it or leave it.” 

Takashi had forgotten that kidnapping situations weren’t generally  _ fair.  _

Adam lets out a weak laugh, “no deal.” He coughs, “we’ll have to take our business elsewhere.”

Caleb twists his arm and he yelps again. 

Takashi inhales a sharp breath- he’d never heard Adam sound this… injured. 

“I’ll do it.”

“What?!” Both Adam and Caleb exclaim. 

Shiro looks at them, with fiery determination. 

  
“The universe has wanted me dead for years, I’m not dying at the hands of  _ you. _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, this fic sure has blown up  
> u know something else that got blown up 
> 
>  
> 
> anyway its so weird that season 8 didnt come out i thought they were releasing it,,, strange


	23. Amalthea

Caleb stares through the barrel of the gun with an angered intensity that sends a bit of a shameful chill down Shiro’s spine. Takashi could tell in the man’s eyes that he really  _ was _ planning on killing him. He didn’t have any regard for Shiro’s life whatsoever. 

Without another moment’s hesitation Caleb fires the gun toward Shiro’s right- just by his heart. Thankfully, Takashi’s robotic arm dodges the bullet with a mechanic ease. 

He doesn’t wait for him to fire again before approaching closer, crouching to make it harder for Caleb to shoot toward him. 

To centre his aim, Caleb roughly casts Adam aside. The man tumbling to the ground with a large thud. Adam sputters, a pained grunt coming reluctantly out of his mouth as he spat up a small puddle of blood.

They didn’t have a lot of time.

Shiro grimaces, running toward Caleb now. Full speed. Caleb shoots again, this time at Shiro’s head, but he just manages to nick his left ear due to Takashi’s slick movements. The small searing pain only working to speed Takashi up. 

At last he’s finally in close proximity to Caleb and, with great, overwhelming fervour- Shiro manages to disarm him with a prompt blow to his hand. 

Caleb cries out in panicked surprise and the pistol flies into the air before clattering to the ground far out of reach of both of them. Shiro wastes no time in landing another blow- an uppercut right under the man’s chin. 

It lands and knocks Caleb swiftly to the ground. 

With a groan, the man quickly gets on his feet- not willing to give up just yet. Shiro starts for him again but Caleb moves too fast for the other this time- rushing to Shiro’s side that harboured his flesh arm so he couldn’t grab him. He sprints toward where the gun landed, the blow he’d sustained previous making his steps haphazard and stilted. 

Shiro makes a run for the weapon as well, but he’d been blindsided by the action- Caleb snatches the gun off the dirt with furious speed and is aiming it at Shiro’s head once more.

Caleb was so caught up in focusing himself on Shiro that he doesn’t see Adam sneaking up behind him. 

With all the strength the man has left- Adam uses his uninjured arm to sweep Caleb’s legs. Caleb tumbles down but keeps an iron grip on the gun in his hand. 

“Why can’t you just stay out of this?!” Caleb growled at Adam, pointing the barrel at him now as the other fought to get out of his grasps. 

“Let go of him!” Shiro cries, starting forward once more. 

“Or  _ what?” _ Caleb raises a coy eyebrow, his attention back on Takashi. 

Adam lets out a weak grin as he takes his free hand with a grimace and slaps the pistol out of the man’s hold.   

Caleb’s eyes widen in shock just as Shiro’s does as they both dive for the gun. 

Caleb was closer but Shiro was faster.

In the end, Caleb grabs it first and rears his furious head back toward Adam with a scowl. He cocks the trigger one last time before beginning to fire. 

Like lightning, Shiro pushes the man out of the way. He knew full well that if he shot Adam again, he would most certainly die. Takashi couldn’t have that- he couldn’t.

As Caleb turned- the gun moved too, instead of firing in Adam’s direction it now coasted toward Shiro. 

Takashi watched the bullet, almost as if it were in slow motion. 

Spinning at an incredible rate straight at him while he was powerless to stop it. There was no dodging this time- they were at point blank range. 

He feels the bullet pierce his abdomen toward his right- the pain blooming within him like an icy inferno. Takashi hadn’t felt this in so long- he couldn’t say he missed it at all.

“Takashi!” Adam yells as Shiro stumbled back in shock. 

Adam’s mind- the one thing that never failed him had drawn a blank the moment he saw the scarlet blossoming on Shiro’s chest. He’d thought Takashi to be indestructible- an immortal being with an almost suicidal hero complex. Ironic but beautiful. 

He’d been told Takashi was dead before. But did he not look up into the stars every night and wonder if he was looking at the same ones as well nevertheless? 

Did Adam, logical, pragmatic, Adam believe that a dead man could truly come back to life like they did in stories? 

The answer was as convoluted and voluminous as the sea and Adam had packed it away in his mind long before any of this had ever happened.

Caleb stares at the scene, a deadly smirk on his face. He watches Shiro crumple to the ground before him with a sick satisfaction. The bullet had definitely hit something vital. “This is how it should have been all along.” Caleb tells him, looking down at him as if he had some kind of superiority over the man. “Now it can all go back to normal.” 

Adam wonders how in the world he’d gone wrong. How Caleb had been twisted so far off the righteous or even morally apt path. 

If Shiro hadn’t returned, how long would it have been until he showed this side to Adam? Would it have never presented itself? Or would it have been during their first argument? Their first real fight? Would Caleb try and make it all Adam’s fault- say it was the only reason he was striking him? Or would he play with self pity and have Adam stay out of worry for his well being?

He supposed it didn’t matter now. 

Adam watches with teary eyes as Caleb raises the gun again to finish Takashi off and knows that no matter what happens he couldn’t let Takashi die. 

He couldn’t die while Adam lived to know that his logic had been flawed. That Takashi- who’d been alive this entire time, would die at the hands of Adam’s miscalculations. 

“Caleb!  _ Please!”  _ Adam has never once begged in his life- his pride hindered the option significantly until now. He hadn’t begged Takashi to stay on Earth- he hadn’t begged the Garrison authoratives to send out a rescue team. He simply didn’t beg. 

But he was begging now. 

It felt rancid and Adam could feel it curling up inside him- but he did not stop. “Just take me, let Takashi live.” 

Caleb stares at him as if he’s considering it for a moment. It’s long enough that he has his eyes off of Takashi. 

It’s long enough. 

Shiro rises like the dead, clutching the bullet wound at his side. He looms above Caleb now with a furious gaze. Adam wonders idly if this was how he survived the slaughter of the Galran prison. 

He was terrifying like this.

With a fell swoop of his robotic arm, he punches Caleb- and he doesn’t stop until Caleb is unconscious. There’s no emotion in those blows, Adam can’t see an inch of expression. It’s like he wasn’t truly in control. It reminded Adam oh so hollowly of the time they’d spent apart and what they’d both missed between them.

 

After it all is done, it’s almost like Shiro shuts off- as if he were some kind of computer program. All the adrenaline he had left had been drained. He slumps to the floor, right beside where Adam lay crumpled. 

It was hard to tell whose life was more endangered at that moment. But with no help in sight and neither of them able to move anywhere near the door, it seemed rather bleak. 

“Why did you come all this way for me?” Adam whispers his voice nearly failing him- his throat was choking him with the dry desert sand that had seeped through the door. 

Takashi grins- but it looks more like a grimace. Under the soft setting sun of the desert, all Shiro could see was Adam looking back at him. Bright and constant, like the stars he glanced at from his cell all those years back.

 

“This was nothing. I would have flown to every moon in this galaxy and back just to find you.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro; hey- hey adam  
> adam; takashi??? its three in the morning???  
> shiro; ask me what my favourite cereal is  
> adam; what's your favour ce  
> shiro; honey nut shirios


	24. Pasiphae

Adam wonders if death is supposed to feel so… incomplete.

Those movie nights with Takashi brought forth the idea that death wasn’t meant to feel like this. It was supposed to be like a flash- moving about in slow motion. 

It was supposed to be for the greater good. 

As his head luls to the side and he sees Shiro staring back at him- the same look in his eyes, he knows there was no greater good they were dying for. 

It was their shared stubbornness alongside Adam’s poor judgement in character, it was Takashi’s sacrificial nature. They were dying because of all the flaws that had made up their relationship and all the flaws that tore them apart. 

He doesn’t want to die here. 

Not for nothing. 

Adam didn’t fear his own draining mortality. He only feared the triviality of it. For if he died for nothing he may as well have been just that. It was a pretentious thought, one of which he’s sure Takashi shares- but in the end neither of them had a say.

Adam looks to Shiro now, trying his best to conjure up some pile of last words to summarise his entire existence, but his mind draws a blank. All he can see is Takashi, his eyes closed ever so slightly- it reminded Adam so fondly of the mornings they spent together in bed, not at all wanting to go out into the cold and face the universe for the day. 

For as Adam stared at him all those bittersweet mornings, he knew full well that his world wasn’t out there- it was lying right beside him. 

Just as it did now. 

“I love you, Takashi.” He whispers, his voice barely making a sound. “I never stopped.” With the last bout of his strength waning, Adam pushes forward with his arm, stretching painfully closer to where Shiro lay, still as if in sleep. His fingertips just manage to scrape the side of his cheek. 

And it is enough. 

With Adam’s head to his side, he smiles- small and heartbreaking one last time. Before the edges of his vision turn into the starless abyss of the night sky. 

 

Keith’s lungs burn with overexertion but he doesn’t even think of stopping for a moment. Not when he was so certain he’d found them. 

He’d found his family. 

He could hear James and Lance calling out for him to slow down- to wait for them. But he’d learned from the best when it came to risking his life for the people he loved. 

 

The mere prospect of losing both Adam and Shiro hadn’t even crossed his mind.

To him they were immortal beings that had lended a nurturing hand to him when he was at his weakest. 

He’d lost Takashi before, sure, but he’d come back- he would come back to him this time as well. 

Opening the door to the small building now, Keith feels himself pause. The smell of blood was prevalent in the air even before his eyes adjusted to the growing dark. 

What was even more unnerving than that, however, was the quiet. It was a tense silence that drifted about funeral homes and battlefields- Keith had heard this cacophony of quiet before, as he walked amongst the conquered planets that they hadn’t managed to rescue.  

He looks upon the dusted ground to see three figures, all on the floor. He spots Caleb first, his face a mess of bruises, an angry soon to be scar forming on his cheek. He breathes shallowly but he breathes nevertheless. 

Next he sees the two other bodies in the corner and his breath catches.

Adam and Shiro lie together, motionless- as if they were asleep there, Adam’s hand resting on the apple of Shiro’s cheek- his fingertips smearing Takashi’s face with the horrific crimson colour Keith was loathe to even think of.

The paladins of Voltron had seen their fair share of war and destruction. Keith had seen families destroyed with the snap of fingers- but he’d never felt it quite as closely as he did now. 

After losing his father, Adam and Shiro had taken him in. He still remembered the soft sweetness of the cookies Adam had offered him in their shared kitchen, his teasing smile as he put yet another terrible movie on for all of them to watch. He thinks of Shiro’s unwavering faith in him as a person as well as his incredible ability to  _ always  _ burn the popcorn in the microwave. 

Looking at them now, Keith can only see shadows of what used to be and his chest feels hollow. He isn’t alone- he knows he isn’t- but at that moment he’d never felt such desolation since his father’s death. It’s shell shocking and cruel and Keith was aware that he really ought to know that this was in the range of possibility. But he just,  _ couldn’t… _

The shining glint of Adam’s gun catches his eye, the once pristine pistol Keith had caught spare glimpses of now lay in the dust beside Caleb. He wasn’t stupid, he’d known what had happened. That had been the weapon of all of their demises. 

Well, it would be.

Keith had never thought of taking revenge before. After all, his father hadn’t died at the hands of someone else. He’d hardly known his mother as a child. The closest thing to vengeance he’d ever thought of doing was rebelling against the garrison when Shiro went missing. 

But even then…

Picking up the gun now, Keith doesn’t feel that there’s anything necessarily wrong with what he was thinking of doing. He’s aware that he’s most likely killed someone before. As much as Voltron did their best to limit casualties- there were always people that fell on the wayside.

Cocking the gun now toward Caleb, he thinks of the possible repercussions of his actions. 

But in the end that’s all but a patch of clear sky in his storm cloud of a mind right now- and it would only be due time before it too was covered up by grey. 

He was hurt, and this would take the hurt away.

Taking a deep breath, he prepares to shoot-

_ “Keith… Don’t.”  _

The voice is almost too quiet, too weak for Keith to chalk it up to anything but his conscience. 

But then he hears it again.

Turning his neck backward to where Adam and Shiro lay- he has an inkling he might just be going crazy.

But seeing Adam’s arm shakily moving up to stop him, Keith goes cold.

“Adam?” The gun is discarded on the ground as quickly as it was picked up, the paladin instead opting to rush closer to the pair’s side.

“Didn’t I…. always tell you to… search for survivors first?” Takashi says next softly, a hint of mirth spreading across his face.

 

Keith feels a hot rush of exhilaration reach his heart. He’d just assumed- what with what kind of state they were in-

 

He should have remembered who he was dealing with. 

 

_ They were both still here.  _

 

Adam coughs weakly, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth- Shiro’s eyes flutter closed once more.

 

_ But they wouldn’t be for long if he didn’t do something. _

 

The sound of feet arriving at the front door has Keith on edge for a moment before he relaxes, turning to see Lance and James standing in the doorway- looking at the scene with the same sick horror Keith had felt when he’d entered.

“Lance, come help me- Griffin-” Keith turns to glare at Caleb, wishing that his gaze alone would turn the man to dust, “shoot that bastard if he so much as moves.” 

“Keith-” Lance looks at him, his gaze hollow and scared. “They don’t look good… We might not be able to-”

“They’ll be fine!” Keith snaps. 

“Keith...”

“We have to try!” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence and he has to close his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out of them. 

 

“I don’t want to lose any more of my family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shiro; im gay i cant do math  
> adam; ???????? ur a fucking astronaut?????


	25. Themisto

The ever present idea that stars aligning had anything to do with a person’s fate was utter bullshit. 

But did Takashi believe in that with every  _ single _ inch of his soul? 

_ Absolutely.  _

Otherwise, he would have been dead several times over without even  _ returning _ to Earth. 

He sees glimpses of consciousness after that last bout of strength- hears Keith and Lance argue around him and feels nostalgia whisp up around him like a breeze. It’s almost like everything had just been a dream and they were still in their lions, bickering over trivial nonsense while the whole universe was at stake.

While that last aspect was probably true- Shiro knew for certain that he wasn’t back on the edge of reality anymore. The room he was in smelled too familiarly of antiseptic and bandages, of broken sunrises and unsure promises. 

He was in the medbay, for that he was certain.

He was always in the medbay. It seemed apt that the story ended here as well.

Takashi was tired. He was so tired. Of fighting, of working, of everything. 

It was like an endless cycle hitting him from every angle- and the only solace to it had been ripped out from under him. Despite his lethargy, he knows he cannot sleep, because he doesn’t know if Adam is okay. He doesn’t know if Adam made it- he doesn’t even know if  _ he _ made it, really. Shiro just knows he’s tired- but unable to properly rest.

Despite his reluctance and his ever-turning mind- Shiro feels the edges of his vision tinge with black and knows that this unconsciousness isn’t one brought on by himself. 

 

Keith is certain that the first one to wake up out of the pair of them was going to pull that dumb hospital-scene bullshit. 

Lance had described it best as,  _ ‘you know, like, when they pull the cords out connected to those heart beepy things and go trudging about the hall shouting their lover’s name.’ _

It was just a matter of who it was. 

Despite both being reserved people- Shiro and Adam had a dramatic streak that neither of them liked to admit to. 

But Keith had seen snippets of it while he lived with them, the way Shiro would sling his jacket on before moving out the door- like it were a cape, the way Adam adjusted his glasses like a fucking anime protagonist.

It was just a matter of time. 

As soon as the doctor had told him that they were both going to make it, Keith had visibly relaxed (hence the pondering.) It had been a race against time to return to the garrison, one that had Keith’s hands shaking and his breaths uneven. 

But they were going to make it. 

Suck it, Lance. 

Lance didn’t know them like he did. They were practically immortal.  

And they were going to make it.

The first sign of a struggle erupts a moment later, as Keith sits in the small waiting area next to a rather uncomfortable-looking James. Lance had gone to go fetch the rest of the paladins and the pair of them were lounging in mutually tense silence. 

“I-” James moves to speak but he bites his lip, like he was carefully going over all the words in his head. “I’m glad they’re okay.” He admits, fiddling with his hands, “sorry I was a prick.” 

Keith looks over at him with his eyebrows raised, he hadn’t been expecting that. The James Griffin that Keith had known was a prideful brat, he always had his nose stuck up high with a snotty arrogance that Keith loathed. 

But, perhaps, he’d changed for the good over these years.

“Thanks,” Keith replies, “I’m- I’m sorry too. I’m sure Shiro is also-” Keith sighs, putting his hands in his lap.“ Adam means a lot to the both of us. He definitely didn’t mean to yell at you and I know I didn’t mean to be as snappy as I did.” 

They’d left Caleb back in the desert for the garrison to deal with, Keith believed it was much more than what he deserved- he knew that he’d be in their custody now, but it still felt like he’d let the bastard off too easy. 

Nevertheless, he wouldn’t be causing anymore trouble. Not for any of them.

James nods with a resolute understanding, outstretching his hand toward Keith. A peace offering. 

Keith takes the hand and shakes it, his eyes meeting Griffin’s for but a fleeting moment before the door holding a post-surgery Adam bursts open.

“Where is he?!” Adam emerges from the room, having definitely done what Keith had been dreading he’d do. 

The man was utterly covered in bandages and he looked half dead still- he leant on the door frame like it was his sole life source. 

And yet, he was still looking for Shiro. 

He had that desperate sheen in his eyes that remained chillingly reminiscent of the days after the Kerberos incident. It makes Keith stand stiffly and approach him, knowing he had to amend that. This would not be another Kerberos. 

Aside from the Shiro coming back, somehow alive, part.

“Adam, calm down- he’s fine- you’re both fine.” Keith placates awkwardly, not really a pro in the comfort department. He usually just pat their back and said it would all be okay- but Keith feels if he gave Adam a hearty tap on the shoulder now he’d just topple over. 

Adam looks at Keith now, his drowsy fatigue making his expression a little more watered down- but still palpable. Pride. 

Adam was proud of him.

“You saved us.” 

Keith smiles, moving closer to usher Adam back into his room- there’s no doubt in his mind that there would be nurses rushing their way to reconnect all the tubes Adam had undoubtedly pulled out. 

“However many times it takes.” 

 

Shiro wasn’t as easy to placate. He was naturally swayed by logical reasoning  _ usually _ \- but right now it was more so his emotions. He woke up a few hours after Adam, also pulling out the monitoring equipment connected to him, bursting out of the door with a flair of drama. 

Perhaps they were psychic.

In the end the two of them were both such _messes_ without one another that Keith volunteered to take Shiro in to see Adam- since Adam’s legs were more injured- he figured it was the best option. (How he’d stood up in the first place, Keith would never know.)

He’d all but thrown the black paladin in the door and closed it behind him. Keith had a feeling he didn’t want to be in there when the dramatics inevitably started.

Besides he had something else to prepare.

 

Fate had a strange vendetta against the pair of them- it seemed. For the cruel mistress seemed hellbent on coming after them but not letting them die. 

Shiro walks into Adam’s room, a mess, just as Adam presumes he himself isl. 

There’s dark circles under his eyes- either from bruising or lack of sleep, his prosthetic arm hadn’t been placed back on- he was a hurricane of small disasters. Despite all the obvious pain Shiro must definitely be feeling, the moment his eyes lock with Adam’s, his expression lights up like a flickering candle. The strangest of shaking smiles graces his lips and for a moment they just stare at each other, unknowing of what to say or do. 

“Takashi Shirogane you bring chaos with you wherever you go.” Adam says to him, not in an accusatory way- rather, simply pointing out a common factor in all these situations. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault he had a proverbial target on his head at all time. 

Takashi looks downtrodden for a moment, his eyes lowering to the floor- not willing to offer up any excuse. Adam was right.

“But I think a little chaos is good in a life as short and… pointless as a human’s. Keeps us on our toes.” Adam’s looking at his hands now, the soft caramel colour contrasting against the stark whiteness of the sheets. He knew there were words that had to be exchanged. And he knew that they were better early than late.

“I’m sorry for not seeing the signs. Caleb got to me when I was at my most vulnerable and he… He used that to his advantage, I’m so stu-”

Takashi shushes him with a hand. “I don’t want to hear about ‘stupid decisions’ from you, you’re looking at the king of them right here.” 

Adam snorts out a laugh, “I may just have to challenge you for the throne.”

“Why challenge me when you can rule beside me? We could create a kingdom of stupid decisions.” Takashi teases, his head tilting as he looked at Adam fondly, his eyes were as soft as silk as he stared. “I’m so relieved that you’re okay.” 

Adam’s expression sobers and he looks up at Takashi once more, “you could have _ died _ .” 

“You could have as well.” 

“Yes, but it was  _ my _ fault.” Adam replies, his voice sounding disheartened, unnerved and miserable. “I should have fought back harder, I should have known-”

Shiro moves toward him, making sure not to touch any of Adam’s bandages. He places his hand on Adam’s shoulder and looks him directly in the eyes. “None of this is your fault. It’s not a crime to seek love after heartbreak, Adam… You just have terrible taste in men.” 

Adam doesn’t stop frowning, but his eyes lighten up a little bit. He gestures to Shiro. “Case in point.”

Takashi grins at him, not moving from the close position he had affixed for himself, rather, opting to sit beside Adam on his hospital bed. They’re so close that Shiro feels tempted to place his head on the other’s shoulder like old times.

He refrains for now.

“Why is it we always have our heart-to-hearts in hospital rooms?”   
“I think it’s the anti-septic, makes us both all weepy.” 

Takashi sighs, watching the stray hints of sunrise hit the small porthole window in Adam’s room. It filtered in with a comforting warmth and doused the room in a soft tangerine hue. 

“You know when I came back to Earth and I told you I wanted to talk to you?” 

Adam nods, the hint of a memory arising from his mind. Takashi had been acting weird then but he’d chalked it up to the… well,  _ everything  _ that had happened. 

After Takashi himself had dismissed it he’d given it no extra thought. 

Shiro bites his lip, nervousness dousing his veins. “I’d actually wanted to ask if we could… pick up where we left off? I know it’s stupid and- and so much has changed since then but- what with Caleb and everything- you don’t have to give me an answer right now if you need time...” 

Shiro sighs, frustrated at his own ineloquent manner of speaking whenever he got nervous. “I know I left-  you still have every right to never want to see me again, but... I’m sick of looking out at the stars and not knowing whether or not you’re with me.” 

Adam honestly doesn’t know how to respond. He’d been conjuring up situations like this in his mind whenever he was at his worst- what he’d say, what he’d do-

But it was all wiped away the moment he saw Shiro’s face in the light of morning. His eyes tired yet hopeful, filled with forgotten possibilities that may have died along with the both of them at some point. 

“I don’t think I can just go back to the way we were.” Adam admits, looking out the window with a solemn expression. “Everything is different now and we can’t just ignore our past.” He turns, seeing Takashi frowning now, with a stray hand he moves up to Shiro’s face, brushing a piece of hair away from his eyes before moving to take Takashi’s hand.

“I think we should build something new together… Something slightly less fraught with danger, if you don’t mind.”

Instantly, the once worried edge Takashi harboured on his face had flattened and the light in his eyes had returned. 

He looked at Adam like he’d just given him the moon.

 

“How about lunch?” 

“I’d like that.” 

 

With the morning just now beginning to make its appearance, Takashi can’t help but think it symbolised a new start for the both of them. Sunset had taken everything away from him, but the rise had brought it all back. 

Adam moves ever so slightly upward until he at last closes the almost painful distance left between them. How hilarious that sounded- they were barely a fingertip’ length apart but it felt the same as when Takashi had been cosmos away from him. 

Adam kisses him softly as the day begins and knows for certain that he was one with his thoughts once more.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for  _ years.”  _ Adam whispered. 

“Then by all means, don’t stop.” 

 

Later when Shiro returns, regrettably to his own hospital room he finds a piece of paper on the bedside table and a small box placed on top.

 

**_Shiro,_ **

 

**_I was going to return this to you in person but I think everything I do is better when it’s thought out._ **

**_Lance found this in the dust while we were taking you and Adam back to the garrison._ **

**_If you bring up this note in person I’ll probably die of embarrassment so don’t even bother but, I wanted to thank you._ **

**_Thank both of you, actually. For everything. You took a scrappy, car-stealing orphan and you made me who I am today._ **

**_I’m a little less scrappy, I still steal cars (we both do) but I have a family._ **

**_I have Krolia, I have all the paladins, Allura and Coran... I have you and Adam._ **

**_You guys, and the terrible movies you made me watch every Friday night are what made me believe in the strength of relationships again. Not just romantic, but platonic as well._ **

**_I didn’t really understand the concept before I saw the pair of you._ **

**_Even a scrappy, car-stealing orphan could tell that you’d both go to the moon and back for one another._ **

**_And we’ve been to several moons, Shiro, it’s not an easy feat._ **

 

**_This belongs to you. Adam never threw it away. That, in the end, is how I knew your crazy ass still had a chance with him._ **

 

**_Keith._ **

 

Takashi opens the small engagement ring box left on the stand, already knowing full well what it was before he’d even read the letter.

After all, he’d bought it many years ago. When things had been different. When their love was unfractured. 

 

But that was the thing about love like this. Even when broken, it never ceased. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guys what a ride this has been.   
> i started writing this before season 7 came out because i was super excited that voltron had actually given shiro a BOYFRIEND back at the garrison!!  
> imagine my horror when it actually aired lmaooooo.   
> nevertheless i had a lot of fun writing this and i want to thank everyone for their kind messages and mutual bitterness about these two.  
> i probably wont be writing anything else for voltron but please check out my other stories if you feel inclined, i love them all like theyre my shitty children.   
> i wish u all happiness in this hellscape and good fucking luck

**Author's Note:**

> [hmu on tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pearliegrimm)


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